ZANTE 2019

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In August 2018, me and 3 of my friends decided we needed a party holiday, so we all decided on Zante I can’t remember how we got to that decision but we did.

Y’all I was so excited about this holiday, I’m used to flying out yearly 1/2 times a year until I turned 18 my mum stopped paying y’all that hurt so much, but we move not every holiday must be family orientated sometimes with your friends, one day I might even fly out alone, because all this waiting on who’s coming, payments and stress, I’m actually not here for it at all, either say you’re coming and get your card details ready or move from me.

Personally, I dabble in and out of saying I’m coming to not coming because people annoy me, I’ll even be on my last full payment, one month away from the holiday and say I ain’t leaving, until it gets down to the last few days my excitement is extra, either be extra with me or leave me alone, I don’t like people who act excited than when it comes down to it they’re moving loose. 

We booked in October/November last year, and the last payments were April, I finished paying first because I just wanted it out of the way, then everyone else thereafter, I started doing my Summer shop in November I finished in March, I LIED MY FRIENDS INFLUENCED ME TO BUY MORE so…I finished 1 week before we flew out, I had a lot packed but I certainly had everything I needed, I changed up £453 roughly and got around 500 euros, so I took 515 euros with me, my friends took roughly the same.

So 16th June we all had taxi plans arranged cause we organised, ya feel me? Long story short we checked in, went through security, got to duty-free? Sweet 

Duty-free? Goodness me I have a love/hate relationship with it, one you can’t leave your baggage unattended I have to bring it EVERYWHERE, even toilet, bet y’all are asking what about your friends? Please, the heartbreak when I left my luggage with my friends while I went toilet I said “Save my seat, don’t let anyone sit there” I came back five minutes later, was my seat even available? One simple instruction. Two, duty-free is like Central London on a normal day, people don’t know how to walk, people will stop all of a sudden to check their phones, people and their fucking pullies OMG! I clipped a couple people walking, learn your lesson, KNOW WHERE YOU’RE GOING OR GET OUT THE WAY, three every purchase you make, you must have flight booking number at the ready, fuck sake even with a bottle of water.  

The only thing I could think about was a Classic English breakfast at spoons, we all got breakfast. please tell me why, while I’m sat with my hot chocolate one of my girls says “I need a bottle of wine’ in my head I was thinking “Nigga what? it’s 9am” I was all baffled but anyways she went ahead and bought it started chugging away, I tried small wine, DIRTY DIRTY NEVER AGAIN! Never again? Please, I downed some just to feel nice.

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ANYWAYS ENOUGH CHAT ABOUT AIRPORT 

LET’S GET INTO IT!

So I think we arrived in Zante for around 6:30/7pm, the heat as the doors opened? Hell, it was so hot and it wasn’t even midday, getting through Zante Security was a walk in the park, baggage collected, small disclaimer (We flew with Jet2, someone told me they were a good airline, whoever told me that is going to Hell, anyways our Jet2 holiday reps gave us a brochure of what to do on the Island, proper helpful) Our hotel was fifteen minutes from the airport? Clever right and two minutes from the main strip, so we stayed at ‘Alexander the great hotel’ Nothing great about it, but when I was on the coach I saw a hotel called exactly that but we drove past it???? Five minutes later we arrive at our ‘hotel’ bro the entrance didn’t even look like the pictures, unloaded all our luggage and went to check-in, hear me out I was saying to my friends ‘nah I don’t think this is the hotel’ only because the photo’s on the preview didn’t look like that, we met two girls out there, who was having the same thoughts, long story short it was our hotel, I checked google maps and new ‘updated’ photos. We checked in and they took our passports? The staff was like ‘Don’t worry we’ll look after it” so if a fire now burns the hotel you’ll still be looking after it? Fuck outta here. We had to wear these wrist bands on 24/7 to show we’re all-inclusive, Hotel lobby? Nice, the rest of the hotel? DEAD up, the money I spent on this 4* hotel rated 2*+ (TWO STAR PLUS) was ridiculous, personally, I want my money back.

Before I forget we had to pay a tourist fee, my head nearly fell in my hands, tourist fee? I’ve paid flight, hotel, exchanged my coins to yours and you want a tourist fee?

I paid for it, we move.

Hotel Chronicles 1.0

Listen to ME! This hotel yeah ‘ALEXANDER THE GREAT’ (Far from great)

I advise from the bottom of my heart don’t go, they’ll rip you off, please tell me why we had a stove in our room but no kettle, no pots and pans not like we needed it, we were all inclusive but like?? If we wanted iron? Pay, kettle? Pay, Ironing board? Pay

PAY! PAY! PAY!

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4 of us went away, quick maths two in each room, our rooms were right next to each other, perfect!

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10 days, something always happened, shall we begin…

16th June: (The day we arrived)

We arrived, all freshened up, explored the hotel small and then went out to dinner, saw a fight on the night, front row seats loved it, the same bar we saw a fight outside of we literally went their most nights!

Disclaimer:

The strip in the day and night are the exact same, it’s so alive no matter time of day, maybe a bit annoying when you’re trying to sleep:( Be prepared for harassment though, I couldn’t tell you how many times I got stopped by promoters or even just regular lads, either to sell some sort of excursions, club tickets or even normal conversation sometimes I acted deaf because I CANNOT deal with it.

17th June:

I believe we all woke up pretty early, we got ready to a point to have breakfast together, (The hotel will be spoken about further down in the blog) We spent the day sunbathing and in and out of the pool, and lastly familiarising ourselves with our surroundings, we all got cocktails they were disgusting either watered down or just too much alcohol, it’s like they had no bartender skills:( We had dinner at the hotel, I swear to God what I ate that night I thought I was going to die, but I promise y’all at the end I’ll talk on the hotel, our neighbours and other stuff.

18th June:

Small Insight: when I left the UK, I was 21 when I returned I was still 21, unlike my friends they were 20 they returned and were 21! So we celebrated three birthday celebrations out there it was great.

Anyways back to it, two of my friends are twins so double celebrations.

I can’t remember what we did in the day at all.

We went on a night out, we went to a restaurant (Country steakhouse)  literally one second away from our hotel, then we went for shisha after (Garden of Eden) I was literally telling everyone it was their birthdays, we got money off the bill, half-price shisha, free shots on the house, we went to a bar called revs, the amount of alcohol I consumed that night, I was back in bed by 23:30pm, yes eleven-thirty you saw correctly, my friend kindly walked me back to the hotel, made me comfortable and then continued her night out, me I was comfortable but I was fucked, me I’m not a drinker anymore I stopped drinking properly at around 18/19, I used to love a good bottle of vodka sometimes no mixers just lean when I was a teenager, but now I absolutely hate it.

19th June:

POOL DAY. SIMPLE.

20th June:

High key this was my favourite day of the entire trip, NO CAPIANA! This was our first sightseeing trip where we all decided to go to Kefalonia it was an all-day trip so it lasted around nine hours, Kefalonia is an island just off of Zante an hour and a half boat trip. 

I think we left the hotel at around 8am (ish) we were on the coach for around an hour to get to the pier, we had a tour guide and there were around 30 other tourists on the trip, the ferry journey was beautiful, I think the weather that day was 36°, we went to so many destinations that I’m just going to drop videos & pictures below, I’m that person that doesn’t miss anything because my phone is always out but I’m still in the moment always. 

When we returned around 9pm, we literally went back to the hotel, showered switched clothing and went out for dinner with the two girls we made friends with whilst we were out there, pretty sure we ordered the entire menu but our eyes were bigger than our bellies because their portion sizes are HUGE! Even the children’s meal looked massive, funny because I never saw any fat kids in Zante, not ONE!  

21st June 

We had had another pool day and just chilled.

22nd June

Another birthday, now I was flying back with all 21-year-olds, We spent a day in Zakynthos town so nice until we got bothered by beggars I’ve never grabbed my phone so fast to sit on it, one of the little peoples touched my hair, so I look like a museum?? Anyways we booked a restaurant that we already went to and when we went there they decorated it really nice for her, all my friends did a fireball tequila shot, me? Never me, I’ve seen them things go wrong and plus I don’t even like tequila and why would I want to swallow fire am I a dragon? This was the one night I promised my friends I’d stay out to a decent hour, my goal was 3am, I surpassed that and got back to the hotel at 6am, I was proud of me, even more, proud that I had around 9/10 drinks and felt absolutely fine in the morning!

23rd June 

I can’t remember this day at all, we literally just chilled. 

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24th June 

We went out for breakfast because I think our insides would’ve killed us all if we went back to the hotel restaurant, everyone kept going on about Peri-peri heaven basically a fake Nando’s, people were saying they had good breakfast, we got there was they open though? We went someone else instead, someone on snap said my breakfast looked like it came from the can, it didn’t taste like the can food, MAYBE the presentation wasn’t Michelin star, that comment rattled my soul so no I won’t be posting what it looked like, that shall stay on my camera roll till death do us apart, after we spent the day at the beach, Mother Nature heckled my insides so much that I just sunbathed and watched my battery disperse, the beach was so nice you could go out at least half a mile and still be belly deep in water well from what I could see anywhere, I was sunbathing minding my business, those lookey men decided they wanted to ruin my peace very early and continuously, I told half of them to go away, but the continuous flow of them I gave up, one of them gave me a free bracelet till this day I haven’t taken it off because I CAN’T my man knew what he was doing you know, but now we’re friends forever. 

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After a long day at the beach, my friends went on a night out, me? I stayed in due to continuous health issues, we went to the corner shop to buy alcohol instead I picked up one drink cause it looked nice, tasted like liquorice and ass even with sprite as a mixer it was disgusting! 

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25th June 

Packing day, let’s be real I packed the Saturday before that, I was ready to go back home as in I couldn’t wait, we went out for our last meal then to bed cause that early morning wake up.

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26th June

Hometime, check out was at 11am? 11am what kind of checkout time is that, we had a coach transfer at 3 we all said hell nah let’s get a taxi to the airport instead, we were waiting at the airport for over 8+ hours to get our flight, long story short we got back to the UK, I was so happy but landing I saw grey skies typical England couldn’t even be mad, I was speed walking through nothing to declare because the police looked on smoke and I was not, found the taxi got back and went bed. 

I’ve finally come to the end of my zante blog and I’m glad because I needed to vent a little bit, Zante has it’s good parts and it’s bad parts, I miss the weather, I miss some of the people on the strip who I made 10 day friendships with, I miss the scenery, I miss just chilling out because I really deserved that time to just relax and be in my own headspace.

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I probably wouldn’t go to Zante ever again but it’s nice to say I’ve been, the experience was good while it lasted, if you’re a party person I’ll suggest to go here it’s like the island that never sleeps, I went to some good clubs, the vibes were lit, it’s not like England where clubs open at 8pm and shut at 5am, the strip was active from midnight all the way through to 8am the following day, some clubs wouldn’t open until 5am, there are clubs here for every type of person, you’ll be walking on the strip and probably get stopped every two seconds where promoters will approach you with a drinks deal, I heard some proper good deals one was €5 for 2 drinks and 2 shots, that was revs and we ended up in there nearly every night because we knew we could get the same deal over and over, the bar men were so lovely, I’ll give them that and their drinks weren’t watered down compared to other clubs, I’ll recommend Cherry bay as well, two of my friends met two Finnish girls and they got us into VIP in cherry bay which was great because I would’ve not to like to be on the dance floor with everyone else as it was packed and my oxygen levels probably would’ve decreased then I would’ve died, entrance was free maybe cause we were in vip and we didn’t pay for any drinks because we got little chips which were equivalent to money, I was drinking Malibu and pineapple all night, sipping other peoples drinks obviously I knew them they weren’t random lads drinks, I drank a few shots that we didn’t buy, we left cherry bay at around 3am ish who knows as soon as I came out the club it was like my vision didn’t want to cooperate with me anymore, I couldn’t see that well my vision went from 20/20 to 10/10. The strip was so alive, I saw Dappy! We went to another club called ‘zeros’ it should’ve been called ‘swimming pool’ instead, we got there and went straight to the bar, we were about to order when me and my friend got splashed yes splashed with water inside a club because there was a big fuck off puddle in the middle, people were dancing in it? Me? Hasta la vista, the toilets in the clubs were RANK🤮 I thought England was bad, it felt like I was in a crackheads house it just wasn’t nice at all, there would even be looky looky men inside the toilets with there possessions laid out ready to do up-selling techniques, I was like??? We went back out on to the strip for a while, talking to some lads, entertaining their madness, giving them confidence boosters to hit those punching bags on the strip, if you have me on snapchat and you were watching while I was out there you could tell it was just alive with a sound of music, all I could warn you on is the alcohol out there, some of it was tasting weird, people were getting spiked left, right and centre, I read up on Zante once I got back to read a few articles, and they pretty much said that the alcohol was mixed with other chemicals, but chemicals they’d give to animals and it’s not meant for human consumption

If you’re a party but also like doing excursions Zante is for you, however if you like doing excursions and relaxing then Kelaphonia is the place to be, and it’s somewhere I’d definitely look at going to again, 5-6 hours on that island wasn’t enough for me because it had so much history, so many tourist attractions that I would’ve liked to explore more, but one day Teeks you’ll go back ! 

Anyone looking to go to a party island I’d say 3, 5 or 7 days is a good choice but 10 is overdoing it, I was getting flustered quickly because there’s only so much partying I can do before I get bored, Zante is 70% boys and 30% girls that is my ratio because there was definitely more than the other, I could do adventures for days, partying is actually not part of my lifestyle anymore and Zante confirmed that Tenerife might bring it back a little though who knows! 

That was my second party holiday, all my holidays have been to the Caribbean, America, South America, France, Spain, Portugal, I want to explore more, the first three destinations are all family-related I’m extremely lucky to have family in those parts of the world because they’re extremely expensive but all I have to pay is for flights! I’ve always been a traveller, but I hate long flights I even complained about the 3hr 30 mins journey to Greece let alone the Caribbean, but if I want to see more of the world I just have to suck it up, flying doesn’t bother me in the slightest I’ll tell you what does bother me, turbulence, Satan 100% created that. 

Spending money I brought out €500 ending up taking out a further €150 towards the end of our trip because we had to keep eating out because the hotel food was SHIT! Some people brought out €1-€1.5k for a week but it really depends on what you want to do, there’s boat parties, excursions, quad bike hiring out which was €30-€40 euros a day, day parties, night parties, it really does add up, don’t forget to add in your drinks and food:( 

Zante cough is real guys, I’ve been coughing my guts up for nearly 3- 4 weeks now, don’t use their air-con you will end up like me SICK! They clearly don’t clean the air-con vents because I’m sure it was the dust particles flying around that made me this way, even some of the drinks out there bring self-destruction to your throat. 

The Hotel:

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Honestly I have 0 words for this hotel apart from WHAT THE FUCK, the lobby was nice, everywhere else in that hotel was shit, I wouldn’t even want my worst enemy to go there (I have 0 enemies btw) but if I did I’d tell them to abort this hotel, our rooms were bog-standard, not worth my money at all, at one point we had an ant infestation in our bathroom, the shower would flood the bathroom because the water wouldn’t go down the drain quick enough, the tv ONE CHANNEL IN ENGLISH WHICH WAS THE NEWS, the cleaners would walk in whenever they felt like it, sometimes they wouldn’t even replace your towels, it was good that we brought our own but that’s not the point, is that not your job title? The hotel bar displayed about 60 different drinks and snacks but only had 5 drinks & 5 snacks in stock every day, these fucking frauds, alcohol was over poured, I know how to mix a drink and make it bang down my throat, these lot wanted to kill us, 3/4 of the glass alcohol then mixer??? ALL FAXXX NO PRINTER, don’t, believe me, I dare you, yeah you to go to this hotel. 

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The food GOD FORBID, none of the food there could actually make up a meal, I love trying new food after that holiday I’m never doing it again, there was something that smelt really nice which was an artichoke one bite into it that shit should’ve choked me to death because of the flavours???? DUN OUT, anytime I ate at the hotel for lunch or dinner I literally had soup then went to the shop after, because the food was not for human consumption, the chef looked old as fuck, five days into my holiday a couple people that worked on the strip said that my hotel was known for food poisoning???? FIVE DAYS? 

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That’s enough about Zante now, I’m finally back to blogging after taking three months out all for good reason, not because I lost my other twitter account honestly couldn’t care less, the person that hacked it could’ve at least given some free entertainment to us all, I’ve been working on something that will hopefully come to life in a few months maybe less, I’m back to stay now no more time offs, I’ve got some interesting topics that I NEED to talk about and give my take on, people have been messaging me constantly asking when I’m coming back to this life, back to life back to reality, I’ll probably try to do more of these travelling style blogs as I have one more holiday booked for this year, being Amsterdam I’ve always wanted to go.

I’ve been working on something and all I’m saying is:

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Next year as follows: 

Tenerife 

Bali/Australia

Miami 

Croatia 

Grenada

All my holiday pictures are on my Instagram feel free to follow

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I occasionally post on snapchat, but you’ll have to go on my Instagram to get it

I’m tired of typing now and I’m sure you’re all tired of reading, please keep a lookout on my Twitter because this is where I announce all my upcoming blogs! 

P.S: My mum told me not to do anything stupid while I was abroad, yeah I jumped off a balcony to get my friends garment I really didn’t realise how high up I was! 10/10 wouldn’t recommend.

Teeks X 

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