ACCESS DENIED

34756609_l-900x600On the 29th December 2018, my brother went to London to see a show but got denied access to a bar/club in Camden, the only reason I believe he got denied entrance was because of his race which is black.

I refuse to believe that he got denied on anything else, his dress sense was clean, what else could he possibly be refused for?

When he arrived home, you could tell he was more upset than annoyed his expression showed it all, I was just angry over what I was hearing, if I could’ve gone down to Camden on the same day I would’ve but it was midnight and small ole me what was I meant to do? I asked him what ethnicity were the bodyguards that denied him entry before he could reply I asked ” Were they Asian?” he nodded back to me!

Personally, to me, I think some Asians think they’re a peck above black people when really we’re all in the same boat, some Asians call black people ‘ Niggas or Nigg(ers) and vice versa ‘Paki’ Y’all thought I was going to be biased to suit an agenda? Absolutely not, I see and hear things with my own senses I ain’t about to lie for anyone, I’m definitely not about to protect my race either, this world is so fucked up, racism I’ve never understood it and don’t want to, how could you possibly hate someone on their skin colour, something that you can’t even pick, well to be honest you could probably pick with today’s scientists, those scientists are going straight to hell, messing with God’s creation, if I vomit.

Back to my previous point, black and Asians they’re both part of an ethnic MINORITY, no one is better than anyone, I wouldn’t have reacted how I did if it was by a white bodyguard this stuff happens all the time, but either way I would’ve come back and written a blog because this shit can’t run anymore, denying someone entrance over an aspect of their life they can’t control it’s ridiculous, it’s the same as denying someone access over sex, age or sexual preference, I honestly can’t believe the world I’m growing up in.

I’ve been clubbing in central a few times, the drink prices actually make me want to aggressively vomit, I’ve seen segregation of two separate queues it took me like five minutes to figure out actually what was going on, once figured out I knew central London was not a place for black people, separate queues, separate ticket prices between races, between black men and women, bodyguards look you up and down as if you’re a piece of meat and they’ll decide if you look good enough to be let in the club, Central London honestly I don’t have the fucking time, it’s the 21st century, not 19th, if you’re looking for a good time Shoreditch or Hoxton is the place to explore.

The UK urban scene is known as the epitome of multicultural Britain, we have a wide variety of music for example grime, garage, funky house, soca and reggae and so much more… 

The cultural domination is crazy, every weekend city to city we see how much black people influence the scene, from the clothes we wear to the dance moves we do, to the languages we speak yet we aren’t wanted in the clubs, hate to see it I really do because without us profits wouldn’t be made. 

In my opinion, I think clubs love off black people culture but they hate us, they want to play all our songs but not accept the same race in, that created them, all clubs care about now is profit, which is perfectly fine because they have to make a profit to stay afloat but does profit = discrimination? As in why do I witness two separate club prices for black and white people…£10 for white people, £20 for blacks but the hilarious thing about this is that there are black people out there that will happily get discriminated and pay extortionate prices to get in, and then later come to social media crying on their experience, oh but was you not enjoying while you were in there or? 

It’s also very embarrassing when I see black groups go clubbing together but see a few left out as half of them get in and the other half don’t, I find this so unacceptable do you stand for discrimination or do you not? Whewww chile, not my friends or they’ll soon know about themselves and that’s a promise, not a threat.

Do I look DSTRKT? 

It proper baffles me, when I used to go clubbing all I wanted to do was get drunk, have a good time and vibe with my friends, luckily where I live, I have no problems of getting into clubs/bars or pubs but Central London ‘Do I look DSTRKT enough? Do I have to be thick, slim thick or slim to get in? Do I have to be white or mixed raced to get in? Oh if I’m black should I go and join a separate queue? Ohh, black people look scary and intimidating, say swear down that’s what you people think? Does the colour of our skin mean troublesome? But if I’m white “Can I see your ID, and that’ll be £10 please” Oh but if you’re black  *Proceeds to look up and down* “Nah sorry you can’t come in” like what the fuck, sometimes I wonder how club owners sleep, probably from the profits they scrape in from two separate queues.

You can get denied for anything nowadays, from race, weight, ageism even sexism, some people will offer to spend ridiculous amounts in a club per night yet discrimination will override everything.

Where does ‘Do I look DSTRKT’ come from?

DSTRKT made headlines back in 2016 for their questionable door policies, but discrimination in the West End goes way beyond one incident.

On the night of 26th September 2016, a group of four women decided to go out in one of London’s well-known clubs ‘DSTRKT’ they had been invited by one of the promoters and added to the guest list. When the group arrived two of the ladies were told to stand across the road so a manager could see them, according to the manager one was ‘too dark’ and the other ‘too overweight’ Does this story sound familiar yet? This story went viral. 

A few days after another lady of the group posted screenshots of the conversation she had with one of the promoters, the promoter said “Only wanna let mixed raced people in” when interrogated further “I really care about the white crowd, the black crowd is a concern” On the night of September 29th crowds gathered outside DSTRKT claiming they received similar treatment and also supporting the girls denied access.

DSTRKT had two chances to speak up on the incidents but declined each advance, that screams guilty to me, people in the music industry declined? Guilty as fuck, night club ‘pRofFesSiONiLiSTs’ even declined, screams guilty and unprofessionalism to me, but what’s my own.

The word spread with a simple question “Do I look DSTRKT?”

Weirdly enough DSTRKT closed its doors last year due to a brawl with Albanians and a knife attack, whewww is that all it took to shut it down, but discrimination kept it alive and kicking.

Personally to me, clubbing has lost its value, take that how you please.

Imagine up until 1965 it was LEGAL to turn away black people from clubs or pubs simply because of the colour of their skin, just over 54 years ago it was all dandy to deny someone access to a public space over the colour of their skin, people keep saying to me “Racism won’t last forever” call me close-minded but racism will never ever end, not in this life or the next, there is too much hate in this world, too much greed and not enough love.

I believe racism exists due to jealousy, jealous of other cultures that are known to be better than others, jealousy that turns into fear, then fear into knowing someone’s culture is unknowingly better than your own, only way to end racism is to wipe out the entire human race, don’t even start it again just wipe it out and that is that. 

One day someone will press that red button, one day.

I asked a few people “Do you believe racism will ever end?”

Answer No.1

“No”

“100% no”

“As long as people believe their country is there’s, foreign people will never be accepted”

I agree, me? Born and bred in Britain, will I ever feel like Britain is home? Absolutely not, as soon as I have the financial stability I’m out I will go back to one of the mother islands where I’ll be appreciated.

Always those cunts with 4 teeth in their mouth that want to yelp and scream “GET OOT MI CANTRY” Alright Gary relax, let me set up base here first, let me squeeze every penny I can get here, then I’ll be on my way.

Answer No.2 

“Absolutely Not”

When asked why

“There’s several, mainly I think the fact that racism is embedded in people from their children, it’s hard to stop something that is taught to you from such a young age” 

dbcxptures

 

I also agree believe it or not there are a lot of parents out there that embed racism into their kids, the kids will then think it’s normal to say racial slurs to opposing races, honestly, I find it disgusting and bad parenting. 

I agree everyone has a different mindset, free thinking is real but you must be tapped in the head if you think being discriminative is okay.

Discrimination: The unjust or prejudical treatment of different categories of people, especially on the grounds of race, age or sex.

The definition is straight from Beyonce’s internet so please fight them and not me.

Security guards make me laugh, like sorry guardian of the gate, you shall not be let in without my permission, o I lick the club owners ass, like imagine your job is basically licking ass, whew what an inspiration.

Racism is so casual now, especially on social media it’s so easy to have chest behind a screen but none, in reality, the tears really begin when you start finding where people work, educational facilities and anything else to teach them a lesson, once something is online it is here to stay forever, deleting something won’t save yer hating discrimination ass, a lot of racist people online and in reality need to learn a lesson, online anyone can pull up your details in an instant, personally any time I see a crumb of racism online I’ve switched apps to either Safari or Facebook, Facebook back in the day was that social site everyone jumped on, updating their jobs, education and so on. For me, Facebook died out a long time ago, but a lot of people still use it, putting every detail of their life on there.

I don’t care if you’re in your dream educational facility, I don’t care if you’re in your high-end job earning a sweet dollar if I see a slight bit of racism, or straight racism, I will find you and tear all your aspects apart, over the top? I think the fuck not, a lot of things way heavy on my heart and racism will always be there, being discriminative against someone especially on something they can’t change is utterly disgusting.

How do I know that?

Plain & simple I used to do it, but when I was very young, my whole friend’s list used to do it, adults, people my age, younger, but unlike others, I learnt my lesson, I wasn’t discriminative or racist of any sort but my statuses always used to rock a few souls. I didn’t tone it down I just stopped using it can’t rattle people if you don’t type anything. If you didn’t do any of that then wheww you’re cool then.

me

I don’t know how some people find it normal to say the term online, register it through their disobedient brain, but when a fire comes to deal with them they’re crying because their livelihood is at breaking point, boohoo bitch, play with fire get burnt.

And you embarrassing bandwagoners that stick up for racism instead of teaching someone right from wrong, you’re teaching racist behaviour as if it’s okay, more time the person sticking up for them is either the same colour as you or the opposite colour and should have zero say in the initial conversation, but hey freedom of speech right..

The people on this deep dark internet filled with more hate than love has taught me a lot and I love how much I learn from a new topic I decide to write on, in my opinion, I believe racism will never end, this world has too much segregation and not enough connection, think about it, people divide themselves over religion, race, land and so on, people judge so much and judging will never ever stop and until people learn this, there will be no moving forward, some people say social sites are like ‘one big group chat’ one big chat that like to argue constantly, the same old rinsed out topics, you could ask an honest question online and people will tear it apart without any consideration of what you initially meant, even though a few opinions I see online just plain fuckinnn stewpid asking for backlash, if I’m being honest.

I will never get my head around how you can hate on a colour, I will never understand how you can hate on someone over their religious beliefs, how you can hate on someone’s sexual preference, how you can hate on anything that has nothing to do with you, but this world was built on a divide but made with love from our creator.

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You can only learn if you choose to listen and debate properly without patronizing the opposing parties, I realised a long time ago a lot of people on the internet just know how to argue, some people can’t hold simple debate not even question time on BBC1, some people I’ve seen on that show sound like cats scrapping, these people go from A-Z real quick, finished the ‘debate’ before I even reach counting to three. Simple exchange opinions and you peep the replies on social media you have people jumping down your throat, debate on TV its people yelling back and forth, get a grip can you not debate without screaming or shoving four points of your opinion down someone’s throat before they’ve even grasped the question or even radio some of the people that call in, NO MANNERS, if I worked on radio and someone started sorry your *ring ring* will get declined.

I’m being my version of real.

Some of y’all thinking heaven is going to be your destination when it’ll be hell.

This is only a short blog, due to my recent Twitter account being hacked, I was bamboozled, I lost a lot of messages that would’ve helped me write this so much better, I lost a lot of my blogging audience but hopefully, I can find my initial audience and continue to build from there.

If you’re new rider or true rider for my blogs, I’ve written something similar to this but in greater detail, please check it out!

‘Colourism, racism & discrimination’

2019, I continue to move more efficiently

Teeks X 

 

You hurt me.

5ef3a7081edfd4b13eea53b1df62318e--drawing-art-drawing-ideasYou hurt me. 

One thing I always get asked/told  ‘why don’t you have a man’ or ‘you don’t seem like the type who would be in a relationship’

He hurt me, physically, mentally, emotionally, he said he loved me, and of course I believed him, he said he wanted me to be apart of his future, I believed him, he was so nice and caring at the beginning and then things started to take a dramatic turn downhill.

I started drinking enjoying my days of being a teenager, he didn’t like it, in fact, he hated it and started to resent me, told me I was an alcoholic, started torturing my mind, spitting vile poison in me, and then the next day a whole ME would apologise for being myself enjoying, he didn’t like me having fun, he just wanted me around him all the time, didn’t want me talking to anyone else, I was simply being me, but my alcohol days got worse and worse, a couple of drinks before bed, partying more, all he saw was red, but I don’t know why.

He hurt me physically, mentally and emotionally.

But I became stronger, I found the courage within myself to leave, I know what he was doing wasn’t right, but what made me stay? I loved him, head over heels, but it wasn’t healthy I needed to get out.

I got out and kept on drinking, it made me feel better, but also worse I was getting ill but I blocked it out.

Another one used and abused me, he wouldn’t get off, I kept on saying “no please get of off me” my words were slurring, my vision was oh so blurry, but it happened, he left the room and I wanted to get away but I couldn’t my body was weak so I stayed, he came back and did it again. I wanted to scream but who would’ve heard me?

He took me for a mug, he said he loved me but loved someone else, it hurt so so much, but I was sort of getting used to the same treatment, being used and abused, my heart used to be so full of love now it’s half empty, full of regret why did I let these vicious people enter my life, but then again true colours never show at the start, always near to the end.

We were talking for a year, everyday phone-calls, everyday FaceTimes, meeting up, opening up to each other telling small details that meant a lot, telling each other things that no one else knew, putting each other as top priorities, but well guess what that one spiralled completely out of control, we had feelings for each other, we were doing so well, but he kept on breaking promises, promises is one thing I don’t FUCK WITH, I hate promises completely, but I gave him an ounce of my trust and where did the trust end up going, out of the fucking window. He claimed me when it suited him best.

I always give my all when I’m with someone, and as time goes by it just starts to be a waste of time, I fall hard and can never seem to shake it off, it’s annoying, irritating why do these traits follow me around like a lost dog? Why me? What have I done that was so wrong? I try my best and always get a fat F planted on my heart, do I love too hard? Do I give in easily to what they want? I’ve never been able to work it out.

Maybe I do chat to a few people here and there but really I don’t think anything amazing to come out of it, I don’t ever paint people with the same brush but I’m highly cautious now on who I involve myself with, but no matter how much I try to protect myself something always comes along and ruins it.

None of them realised the later effects it had on me, I’m reserved, it may not seem like it but I am.

I’m not saying I’m perfect, because I’m certainly not and don’t ever plan to be, I probably did trigger some of these, but who knows I’ll never know, and quite honestly I don’t want to know, it’s in the past and I’m now living in the present.

Does this answer your questions? My truth, some of my life out in the open, the disgusting people that have come and done this, I don’t like opening up to people because I tell someone and laugh about it, not because it’s funny but more of a nervous laugh to hold back the tears, I don’t like tears escaping because once one trickles down my cheek there’s no stopping, I come across fearless my comebacks to everything is strong, a cry every now and again is good but I simply just don’t like crying, I don’t like sympathy at all. I love loving people, and sometimes it’s too much for my own good.

I tell people I love them and they think I’m crazy, screaming “you don’t know me like that b” “we’ve just met” blah blah blah, sometimes it’s just your vibe I like, if we can’t vibe then sorry, the connection has failed.

All I hear is ‘you chat to so many men’ I don’t understand what point some of you are trying to make, I’m obliged to talk to whoever I want.

But recently I’ve stepped back a lot, I don’t talk to anyone because that means I have to open up it takes me a lot a LOT to just tell someone things about me, I’ll flip the script and will want to hear about your life, I’ll ignore you when you ask about mine, it’s just normal now.

Words from me!

Yes this is about me, but I decided to share this because I’m done suffering in silence and keep getting asked constant questions, I know there are a million of other people where things like this have happened to them, it’s sad to think other people go through this, but it’s also to scream and shout awareness that you’re not suffering alone whether you’re a woman/man. There are about 5 stories mixed into this but there are separate people involved, some of them are very minor but some are serious. I’ve spoken about some of these situations with ‘friends’ they didn’t even care one ounce, but that’s okay because I sent them on their way.

If you’re getting abused, physically, mentally, emotionally then speak out!

I will always use my platform to spread awareness or for my controversial topics.

It doesn’t matter what age, gender, the colour you are, if something is not right within your relationship, situationship or friendship speak out, we have freedom of speech use it!

I simply haven’t had a man for a long time because I’m scared of who’s entering my life, I’m scared what they’ll do, are their intentions as true as they’ll say, do they want me or my body? Do they want to love or lust? Do they want my heart? Have I done something? My mind is never ending thoughts, but that’s okay I’ll rather have thoughts then being thoughtless.

This is what happens at 2am in the morning when I’m overthinking or thinking about the past I feel to write, it’s so much easier to get my thoughts out by typing them down, this has been stacked in my notes for a while now and I’ve just always scrolled past not knowing whether I should release or hold back, but here I am about to click ‘publish’.

“Controllers, abusers & manipulative people don’t question themselves. They don’t ask if the problem is them. They always say the problem is someone else.” – Darlene Quimet

Thank you to everyone that continues to read and gives feedback, highly appreciated!

Teeks X