2019 WRAP UP, 2020 STARTUP!

147 days later and I’m back to blogging, wheww chile what a long time, I would apologise for being inactive but I’m not going to because having writer’s block is REAL, I have blogs in my drafts that have been started but not finished hopefully I can get those out to you lot sometime next year, not hopefully I WILL get those completed and put them out next year.

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Bet you’ve been wondering where I’ve been…If you answered no, free you because I know you’re going to continue reading and want to know what’s been happening in my life and if you said yes you’re either nosey or you genuinely want to know where the fuck I’ve been, I’ve wondered too, but somedays I look back at the whole year and it’s certainly been busy, I’m generally a very busy girl, this year has also been hard for me work-wise I had a manager that didn’t believe in my career prospects it made me alter how I saw myself for months, it made me question myself every day, whether I was fit for the position, whether I could actually be a leader, so many things were shuffling around in my mind, however, if you’re sane enough in life you’d know not to mess around with my career because I’ll only come back stronger, I remember I had a meeting with my manager and she thought I was dumb I remembered something she didn’t my ammunition must’ve taken her aback because she was certainly lost for words, anyways long story short she either resigned or got fired I believe she got fired because I definetely reported her ass to management and when I was telling management what was going on LOOOOL she didn’t stand a chance.

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We got a new manager and I thank God for her also my deputy manager and all my colleagues so now I’m training for senior care worker which I’ve always wanted, I’m also doing a Level 3 certificate in web design and development, I’m excited for what 2020 can bring hopefully more career opportunities, twenty-one years on this earth and I’ve learnt so much and I  never want to stop.

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Anyways yardiyardiyaaaa enough about the boring part of my life, I’ve recently just come back from Amsterdam, 10/10 experience apart from DBE cancelling rest up LB though.

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If this part of the blog doesn’t make you want to go Amsterdam, then please go get high and come back to this section, because it’s not me that’s holding you back.

Amsterdam 2019 let’s get into it:

I booked Amsterdam 31st May 2019 with my friend ‘Adz’ well she booked it I just sent my money each month, we booked on ‘Love holidays’ however our holiday was discounted as they always have sales on, the cost should’ve been £903 altogether but we paid £292 each which included flight (Easyjet) + hotel (Ozo Hotel 4*) we paid extra for a private shuttle which was £33 each and two suitcases which were £33 each and this was all for 5 days so final price was £584, we booked all our activities via ‘Get your guide’ app if you haven’t heard of it get to know, we booked about seven activities via the app which was £117 each, if you book without the app I promise you look in your pocket and you’ll discover a burn mark. 

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Spending money, I changed up £358 which gave me €400 I nearly vomited in Tesco’s, this was money for food, weed and transport, my friend took away €150 but also had her debit card with her, we paid for 3 extra activities out there but it wasn’t crazy expensive.

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Small disclaimer

I met Adz (Adonae) the day before we flew out, as she stayed round mine it makes more sense I lived closer to Luton, We became friends through Twitter and have been good friends for roughly 2+ years, crazyyyy right!

The first time meeting wasn’t anything crazy you can learn about someone through text, and also learn a lot more when you meet them too, literally the best person to go with, she’s a lot like me which scared me a lil bit, we liked the same things from food to activities, we gave people the same looks in public when we saw something funny or weird and looked back at each other for reference, I can’t fault her she literally booked the holiday and activities and I praise her because I would’ve preferred for her to do it and me to just fling the money over, I can hear the whinging bastards already “WhEre’S YoUr ReAl fRiEnDs” “wErEn’T YoU ScArEd Of bEiNg RoBbEd”  My gut instinct has been swindled a few times but I’m not stupid I’m picky on who I meet in a real-life if I said I’ll meet you, in reality, hold on to your hats 2020 is coming, however, twitter teaches me every day about madness occurring, I wouldn’t hand over 100s of £££s without being certain, and look I’m in my house now back from dam, no damage is done just memories made.

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Lastly each day I figured out mine and Adz’s morning routine, I found it hilarious, so we’d wake up at some awkward hour like 6am go on our phones for a few minutes then go back to sleep, then we’d wake up again at 11am and go to each other “We’ll get up in half an hour” both agree to continue to watch TV or be on our phones, ask me did that half an hour ever come? During that time we’ll also be snacking, then around midday, we’d get ready for our day, every morning same routine, it’d be funny cause it was the same and we’d just laugh about it.

23rd November:

Adonae arrived around 15:20pm, she met my family who was already at home, but I already had something planned so my brother dropped us both to my work, it was the weekend I planned for my dad to come into my work to do a reggae/soca evening for my residents, they loved it including my colleagues and me, long story short we got home around 7, both ate, watched a few episodes of something on Amazon prime then proceeded to pack at 10pm, Long story short we were overweight but hear this only by 3.1kg we still had pay £12 each extra loooool, Easyjet can honestly fuck off, nothing easy about ‘easy’ jet, why is there an Easyjet plus who’s paying £150+ for extra’s are you tapped in the head? DO YOU KNOW WHAT PISSES ME OFF WITH SMALL AIRLINES? NO? Well, you’re going to find out, wait for it…Priority boarding, why do Easyjet have priority boarding it makes zero sense, not even just EasyJet small airlines WHY? We’re all going to the same destination are we not? Or is the plane going to stop off in the middle of England and Amsterdam and tell people ‘Please mind the drop between the plane and the clouds’ and it’s always the posh cunts in suits as well, tossers. 

Moving on, we finished packing and once we closed our suitcase there was no way on God’s green earth that it was being opened till we got to the hotel, it was full to the brim, even our hand luggage was full, we went to bed at 2am and was up for 4am, my friend picked us up and off to the airport we went, someone tell me where is Luton Airport, why is the airport still in construction mode? Luton Airport is so ghetto, I’m surprised they even had booking scanners in there, and London claims Luton since it’s London Luton airport if Luton was a place in London it’d be Harlesden, free dem.

24th November:

We boarded our plane on time, left on time but our plane only had to slow down because too many planes were landing at Schipol airport, I’m pretty sure it was an hour thirty-minute flight or something, can I just say England are so behind in technology compared to everywhere else in the world, like so behind it’s a joke! I won’t reveal too much go discover for yourselves.

We got to our hotel around 11ish and got told we couldn’t check in till 2, but we got around it and checked in at 1, our hotel and room were so nice like it actually resembled the photos on the website, it was a 10-minute walk to the metro where are hotel was it resembled part Canary Wharf, part Milton Keynes it was weird but made sense.

We chilled, napped got ready for our first activity the ‘A’ dam lookout’ we went purely for the ‘over the edge swing’ I was excited before I nearly sat down on the swing, quickly glanced up and over the edge and pussied out real quick, as in I grabbed my bag and was on my way, my friend, of course, did it, I wished her luck and everything, it didn’t exactly help my nerves that there was a measly bar to keep me secured over my legs, ARE YOU DUMB? A bar uno am I a dick’ ed? If my chest thrust forward while up there 2 million per cent + my savings I would’ve fallen out, I don’t even have life insurance I couldn’t even afford my funeral if I died, I’m black I didn’t see any other black people up there so I took myself out the equation, y u bEiNg rACiST tEeKs, it’s actually called stereotyping, idiots.

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Soooo I left my friend to go on her own, I was giving support with my feet firmly on the ground, we took pictures after then went to the bar we both don’t drink so we just got normal fruit juice and enjoyed the incredible view. 

Let me tell you guys something about this trip, the A’dam lookout is across the river and I was thinking how am I going to get there cause my name ain’t dynamo I can’t step on water and expect to stay on TOP of water, anyways so we asked around and my girl in the tourist shop said FREE boat to the other side, the way she said FREE so calmly in this England is anything free? Not even the oxygen I breathe is free I’m sure it’s taxed. 

Long story short, we went to a coffee shop but we didn’t stay I just picked up all my essentials, which included two tubs of cookies, two pre-rolled zoots and just some baggies of weed, I smoked a spliff before bed then went back up made a cup of tea and dunked my cookies in which I’m 100% sure the weed disappeared as soon as I dunked as I didn’t feel an ounce bit different, I was even nodding going “Mhmmm yeah this is nice” all this mhmm yeah for me to feel fuck all did I spend €15 on two tubs for a fucking laugh? It was the tea I just know it but honestly, in this life, you’ll never see me digest a biscuit without a hot drink to go with it.

Don’t offer me a biscuit with no hot beverage, you can even offer hot water.

25th November:

So Monday we went to the zoo, the zoo was 10/10, it was actually amazing, I’m going to drop all the videos/pictures down below, wOrDpReSs rUinED ThE QuAliTy.

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These lions were very close to us I’m sure they were tranquilised cause if they wanted to attack us they could’ve, no fence to protect us, just me and oxygen.

I can’t lie I hate entertainment shows that involve animals, but this fat ting didn’t want to jump just wanted food all the time, found it hilarious I know this sea lion must’ve learnt flex & finesse from early!

 

Monday Evening we did a canal cruise, as in it was so beautiful, the history behind Amsterdam is amazeballs, I just thought ‘weed’ capital this is my kinda city, yeah but no, I love history even though I hated history in school but that is beside the point in school I had a curriculum to follow which I found utterly boring, but I’m grown now I can learn what I want, Amsterdam the city of diamonds, anyways yeah I nearly fell asleep on that cruise, when night time reappears unlike Madeli….anyways when night time appears I’m either buzzing wide awake or I just want to sleep, I wanted to SLEEP so bad.

26th November:

TUESDAY NOW, WE ON TUESDAY, BEST DAY OF MY TRIP, you idiots thought I was going to say of my life yeah? Well no, but the activities for this day listen 10/10!

 ‘Glow in the dark mini golf”

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I lost

The walk getting there was a trek, it was about a 15-minute walk in the cold and it was spitting, we got to one traffic light to cross and my friend saw a flash from across the road, a bunch of tourists put deh bludclart flash on and was taking photos of us saying “yoU’rE So PrEtTy” I was thinking I’m not an artefact man, now random people are going to have me on their camera roll, bare weird.

Anyways the mini-golf was so sick, I think there were 12 holes, one of them was bare unnecessary which was the last hole and the ball just wouldn’t go in, I’ve never had that problem before man:(

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Second Activity was the Anne Frank (Jewish museum) as I said I love history, I didn’t love the holocaust of course not but the story behind how everything erupted and became what it was is just incredible.

After those two activities, we went back to our hotel, we chilled, snacked and napped all to prepare for our big night out, we went to the red light district always wanted to go here and we were finally doing it, my fit was drip, oooo fake drip spotter couldn’t catch me cause I wasn’t wearing any designer, catch my fit down below:

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Ha, you thought I was going to put the image up, did you attend clownery college?

 

 

You:

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We left our hotel around 8 and took a stroll through Canary Wharf and onto the metro, central to the red-light district is not far at all, we had a look in some sex shops and the sex toys bumberclaartttt, oh don’t worry I took photo’s you ain’t meant to take photo’s but fuck the rules, we then had a walk up and down back streets and went to the 5D sex cinema, I’ll upload a short video but we were basically sat in a stimulator basically a rollercoaster chair, and it would move erratically with whatever goes on, on the screen, the man ejaculated and foam came out, I was in stitches, we then went to a peep show it was confusing at first but we paid €4 for 4 minutes of watching time, the first stripper we saw she was so boring, zero energy then a door opened and a new lady walked out she had ENERGY for days, these strippers/prostitutes in the red light district are peng are you dumb?? Lastly, we went to a sex show liveO sex on stage my kinda scene, strippers doing their thing my kinda scene, men in the audience getting picked out to go on stage and join in the act, one man got picked out three times looool on his third time he looked pissed, hilarious. 

We were laughing for a time cause foam squirted out🤣

Oh, and before I forget we went to the museum of prostitution (Red light secrets) nah I loved it the history behind the red light district is dope, as you can read, I’m trying not to give too much away because I want you to go and experience for yourselves.

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I posted a confession  at the museum and they get stuck on a confessions wall

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However wearing what I was wearing I didn’t feel entirely safe because some of the men were disgusting, would catcall you like a dog and when you don’t reply continue to call you all the names under the sun, I ignored and continued because I didn’t want unnecessary hassle plus if I fought someone I didn’t want to fall in the canal that shit was cold and dirty not me boy!

However, that was a night to remember, my eyes were my camera and I can’t fully explain my vision so go visit, loool you’d think the Netherlands government are paying me to promote Amsterdam like this😂.

27th November:

Wednesday was pretty chilling we chilled into the late evening and started getting ready around 16:30pm for the…ICE BAR, ice bar was cool but never again, as in never again someone would have to pay me to go back in there, so I’m pretty sure we paid for premium tickets cause we ain’t no simple bitches which included 1 golden token for the bar in the ice bar, and 2 silver tokens for the bar outside the ice bar, read and read well the first part of the ice bar tour I don’t know what was going on, this man did some speech but was bare shouting, there were different groups that went in at different times and I think you could stay in there for 45 minutes, you got handed a measly jacket as thin as one-ply toilet paper and gloves, as soon as I got in there I saw the temperature, some next polar bear climate of -9.7º, my tokens were in my pocket but there was no way in hell I was taking off a glove and getting a token waiting at the bar, drinking a drink within five seconds, do I look mad to you? The man said if you leave your drink for five seconds it’ll turn to ice? Is my name crackhead sally? I couldn’t even hold my phone to unlock it ALL I HAD TO DO WAS LOOK AT IT, I didn’t even have the energy to lift it towards my face, we basically went in said ‘ah yeah this is nice’ asked the photographer to take photos then we left, we went to the bar instead I ordered an ‘Amsterdamnned’ and my friend got ‘Sex on the beach’ we swapped, in the end, both tasted good, we chilled for a bit then decided to go ice-skating, we decided but ice skating cashier broke our hearts, it closed at 9pm we got there at 8:30pm €30 to skate for thirty minutes? You’re shitting on me.

We Left.

Not disappointed though…

We saw a dominoes beforehand and got it on the way home, so slow story quick we spent €60, and that’s £50, FAM THAT CAN FEED A FAMILY OF 5 HERE!

28th November:

Thursday was meant to be my most memorable day of the entire year but was it though? Thursday flopped me harder than my GCSEs don’t piss me off, the first motive was Van Gogh museum we got there at 5pm because on the ‘Get the guide’ app it said it closes at 7pm, the security guard said it closes at 5 and the dutch accent is strong nuh rass, even if he was trying to talk to me nice it came across rude, but we even said the app said 7pm man was trying to argue I went deaf cause it wasn’t me he was going to go back and forth with, so we left we went back to central and straight into a coffee shop whilst I was in the coffee shop I found out D BLOCK EUROPE CANCELLED, as in if someone didn’t tell me I would’ve still went, I’m so glad I got let down in a coffee shop with a spliff in my hand, so the coffee shop story with adz this girl makes me die, so I bought 1G of white widow, blue cheese and OG kush, two pre-rolled cones of sativa mixed with baccy and bought Adz a vanilla cake edible, we sat down and I sparked mine, adz has never smoked before she asked me how to smoke??? Bitch, I don’t know, honestly, I smoke every day so explaining how to someone who has never was difficult, I managed too though but it was evident it wasn’t for her, she had her edible though she was happy, adz was eating I was smoking I remember there was one point where I was vibing to the music I turned my head back around and swear to God the edible was nearly gone, I said “Eyyy you probably want to slow down a bit” as a non-smoker non-edible eater would say “Ahhhh but it’s so nice though” She never knew the decision she made was going to fuck up her whole night, so she finished it and was like “So when is it kicking in” I was like “Ha give it an hour” by that time I finished my zoot I was good, I had a guy tapping me every two seconds for my lighter, bruv who comes coffee shop without a lighter? Tapping me every 2 seconds like I’m an off licence, anyways we left it kicked in as soon as we left for her, I was dragging this girl through Amsterdam central to get our metro it was hilarious my girl just looked dazed, so we get back to the hotel and by this time she was telling me her body has gone numb, she was sat on the bed with her pizza just eating, I was packing, she went to sleep in and out I stayed awake most of the time mostly because I didn’t know how her body was going to react some people have mad reactions, some people are calm but I ain’t trying to explain to someone’s mum wagwarn for their daughter so I was in and out of sleep mostly slapping the shit out of candy crush, I finally snoozed into a light sleep at around 3am.

29th November:

Friday today was home time, Adz woke up around 8am still waved, she kept asking me “when is it wearing off” that was a question I couldn’t answer if you ate the whole thing if it was half I would’ve given you a legitimate answer, but my girl learnt her lesson, so in the morning I left her to pack I packed the night before obviously as I can function it’s literally my everyday setting, I went downstairs to smoke, this is a story I’ll never forget…So I was wearing leggings, a long top and a big fuck off fluffy jacket it was cold outside, so I began smoking as I do, get halfway through and started feeling incredibly hot as in hot like the plane’s doors open and could feel Caribbean heat, I was thinking I can’t finish this spliff but me being me I finish it, by that time I was feeling dizzy, so I managed to get back in the hotel and into the lift, I looked at myself in the lift mirror I was garnnnn, I got back to my hotel room with the grace of God, as soon as I got in I started removing my clothes, I think I know how hot hell is now! I downed a whole can of Fanta, bitch I had a hot flush for a whole goddamn twenty minutes, I was thinking ‘rah is this how my 21 years on this earth is ending? You’ll do a real g like that, ight sn’ Thinking back it was funny but in the moment nah no thanks not again, but the maddest thing was I had that same spliff on the Monday same strain, it was just weird, I felt like Brian Finch (Limitless) when he was getting those side effects from the drug NZT but it ended up being a hoax.

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So the Friday we went to the Van Gogh museum it was so so good, apparently going high is a vibe I wouldn’t know mine wore off, I wasn’t expecting it to be so modern but hey ho move with the times I guess…the building is huge the backdrop is amazing for photos, yeah the art was nice too.

We spent around an hour there then went back to our hotel in time for our transfer back to the airport, our flight was delayed of course Easyjet would be however we arrived back in England around 7pm, I got my weed through without a hitch cause like I said Luton Airport is the absolute ghetto.

We booked our trip via

11 activities in 5 days, wheww chile my kinda scenes.

So this year I went on two holidays one to Zante (read the blog on that, if you haven’t) and obviously Amsterdam, however, Amsterdam was 10/10, maybe minus a few points, because I nearly got run over 50 times a day, my company was literally my opposite, we did activities we both wanted to do, like the only thing I could fault was the weather every day spitting, not even real rain one placebo & DBE cancelling but whatever man. 

Hope you lot have enjoyed reading about Amsterdam as much as I’ve enjoyed typing about it, and hopefully, some of you go and enjoy as much as I did, but my next trip there I’ll be in strictly coffee shops.

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This year I finally started a podcast called ‘Live & Relevant’ with @brands0311 & @_Jmensah it’s taken at least 10 months to come off the ground due to a few problems we had at the very beginning, but we’ve done it, the first episode is coming out very soon and will be available on Soundcloud & iTunes then, later on, we’ll roll out towards Spotify. We all met on the very first day of filming together but we all spoke on a regular so it was hardly awkward and besides I’m not an awkward person at all, during the whole session I was mildly waved as in I smoked 4 and I was still fine? As in?? 

However, as a team, we’d all appreciate if you could follow our podcast page on Twitter and us individually, any topics that you would like us to speak on please shoot your shot in our DMS we’re all open books and would like our voices heard, whether you agree or disagree with our opinions that is your own. 

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Lastly, the biggest shoutout to @NK1STUDIO one of the main struggles we had was looking for a studio to record in, the prices I was seeing boy oh boy mi nuh tink suh, but I was scrolling through Twitter one day 3 months ago and they came up, affordable, reachable for all of us, boom shack a lacka slapped it in the group chat, everyone agreed on a date, payment succeeded, it was like planning a Thorpe park link-up but with us, everything went to plan.

Oh, also a 5-minute walk from Star Lane (DLR) & they literally have a pizza restaurant next door, like recording sessions + pizza+ 5-minute walk to the station= Heaven

AND the two people running it all are amazing, wish them all the success for 2020!

www.nkonestudios.co.uk

Moving on…

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Since I started blogging I’ve been kind of nervous grabbing opportunities regarding blogging, most obvious reason my turn around time is slow not because of laziness but the thought process of how I’m going to piece everything together is very draining but it’s lowkey fun as well, but as 2020 is coming to a start in 5 days, I’ve grabbed two opportunities I’ll be writing a review for @Ts.cupcakes (T’s Cupcakes) it’ll be coming in January so keep an eye out.

I’ve also joined @RealTalkBlog18 as a guest writer so next year I’m looking to put out a lot more content on this platform as well as my own, I wanna do reviews also, I know my strengths and this year was not it, I know I can reach a bigger audience which I’m going to do, reach out to me if you want a blog written about any sort of business minus gossip I am not the sun newspaper nor am I UK TL TEA

I’m finally bringing this blog to an end, this year has been something a lot of learning curves that I need to incorporate into next year, I need to drop bad habits, maybe those will get dropped in 2021 who knows, I now know my strengths and I know I can go far if I continue to push myself, fuck other people no cap but no one can push where you want to go as hard as yourself, born alone and die alone if your friends jumped off a cliff would you? Might seem common to say no but there’s a lot of sheep around, some people can’t think for themselves let alone do anything without a backup dancer to help their already failed process, I started all my journeys on my own, no second opinions, I’ve had a lot of people in my past that think they know what’s best for me, but in true reality, I just turn off, I don’t want to hear what you have to say, anything I’ve got I’ve worked for it no shortcuts just a straight grind, 2020 is really another year, yeah a new decade faxx no printer bitch, but next year a bitch is going to be trying and succeeding, work in silence let success be your NOISE, I’m coming for everything, Health & Social Care NVQ level 2? I’m getting that next year, NVQ Level 3? Yes! Level 3 web & development? Hell yeah, 30k+ views on the podcast? Easy 30k+ views on my blog by 31st December 2020? Hard but not impossible, I have so many goals which for my own sanity I will not post all over socials, but when I hit them you will all know!

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I’ve had a lot of favourite times this year but my ultimate times have been under the needle, not the surgery one please the tattoo one, I love my tattoo’s and the ones I’ve got this year, being in the tattoo studio I’ve been able to catch up on sleep, slap-up people on candy crush and enjoy the 0 tolerance of pain

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I’m so thankful for people who have walked into my life this year and made it even more fun than I was already having, having friends from all over is lit because I can move up and down this country without a care in the world, so grateful for the people that have left my life and that’s people that called themselves friends but true colours really showed when I was least expecting it but it’s cool, true colours were shown when people thought I was schleep I was alive and kicking during all of it, but like if you want to leave just pick up and go, don’t do this bitching shit because I promise you I don’t give a fuck, I’ll smoke a zoot and get over it in seconds, might find this moist me typing this, but some people think they’re so significant in your life when that ain’t even the truth

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Thank you to everyone who still continues to read my blogs and gives feedback as and where possible, I’ve ghosted long enough and I can only come back harder no one can blog like Teek’s, and small shout out to my mum even though she’ll never read this which is good cause that Amsterdam trip red light district needs to stay under wraps, but sometimes my mum helps me with blog topics where I struggle she always says to give her credit so there is her crumb of credit. 

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If you have any topics that you’d want me to talk on and give my own take then hit me the fuck up, my DMS are open!

Chase Lizzy until she chases you.

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2020 is everyone’s year, you want something you get it, believe in yourself, promote yourself and most importantly network & I promise you, you’ll see the results! 

Last thing, a big FUCK YOU if you voted conservatives, and a big THANK YOU to those that voted labour, you’ll be granted a place in heaven and that’s on a G ting!

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See y’all soon!

Teeks X

Breast Cancer Awareness.

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The tenth month of the year has flown around ever so quickly, and October is Breast Cancer Awareness month here in the UK (Wear Pink) 

The pink ribbon is an international ribbon which symbolises Breast Cancer and also identifies the wearers and promoters of the breast cancer brand.

This topic is so evidently important and I’m so for spreading awareness on as many topics as I can and this one really stood out, as Cancer can really attack or take anyone in the blink of an eye but besides from that, in my opinion, it’s a really interesting topic, I would love to talk about all types of cancer and one day I really will, but for now I’ll stick with Breast Cancer.

Breast Cancer is the most common type of cancer in the UK, most women can get breast cancer over the age of 50, but some younger women can receive it as well, but men beware you can also get it too, increasingly rare disease, less than 1%  (2,550) of men in the UK are expected to be diagnosed in the UK, also for men the lifetime risk of being diagnosed is 1 in 1000.  Men can form breast cancer in the small amount of breast tissue behind their nipple, it usually occurs in men over sixty but can occur in an earlier period of life.

From the 2016 UK census, it was revealed 65.64 million people lived in the UK, yet 32 million of them are men, considering statistics men receiving breast cancer is extremely rare, but rare doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

However, the 2016 census reveals there are 33 million women in the UK, which there are 1.68 million in the UK alone diagnosed with breast cancer.

Only 2,100 men are diagnosed with breast cancer in the USA each year, with a population of 325.7 million, comparing these figures it’s a very slim amount although it doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

About 1 in 8 U.S. women will develop invasive breast cancer over the course of her lifetime. In 2018, an estimated 266,120 new cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to be diagnosed in women in the U.S

1 in 8 women are diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime, it’s curable if it’s detected early. 

Please, Please Ladies and Gentlemen please check your breasts, anything that is a red flag then I urge you to get seen by a health specialist at your earliest convenience, it could save your life. 

For those of you who don’t know the sign or symptoms carry on reading, save your life or even someone else’s.

Symptoms of men’s breast cancer:

  • A lump in the breast, normally hard, doesn’t move and painless 
  • Inverted Nipple
  • Nipple Discharge could be blood
  • A sore or rash around the nipple that doesn’t go away
  • Swollen glands 
  • Feeling tired all the time
  • Itchy skin with yellowing of the skin and eyes (Jaundice)

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Symptoms of women’s breast cancer:

  • A new lump or thickened tissue that wasn’t there before
  • Change of breast sizes in one or two breasts
  • Bloodstained discharge
  • Lump or swelling in your armpits
  • Dimpling on the skin of breasts
  • Rash around the nipple

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Men and women’s symptoms are fairly similar, unlike women, men tend to delay going to the GP, by that time cancer could’ve spread. 

Health is not valued, till sickness comes

Woman cancer survival rate:

Stage zero: Cancer has been diagnosed early. (100% survival rate)

Stage one: Stage one is highly treatable, however, it needs immediate attention, typically surgery or radiation or in some cases both. (100% survival rate)

Stage two: Stage two means it’s growing however it’s still contained in the breast or the growth has extended to the nearby lymph nodes, stage two is normally divided by 2a & 2b, the difference is determined by the growth of a tumour and if it’s extended to the lymph nodes. (93% survival rate)

Stage Three: Cancer has not spread to bones or organs, but it’s seen as advanced (72% survival rate)

Stage Three A: Cancer has been found in up to nine of the lymph nodes. 

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Stage Three B: Tumor has spread into the chest wall and skin.

Stage Three C: Cancer has been found in up to ten lymph nodes above or below your collarbone.

Stage Four: Breast cancer cells have spread beyond the breast and lymph nodes, most common sites are in the liver, lungs and brain. (22% survival rate)

The five-year survival rate shows you can live on much longer depending on how early you get it diagnosed, it all depends on the stage of diagnosis.

The staging process is exactly the same in men and women except the men’s survival rate is five years higher than women.

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The causes of cancer are not fully understood, nowadays the media, health professionalists will drill into your mind that anything can cause cancer, for example, eating bacon can now increase breast cancer, pollution can cause cancer, this world is so toxic finding purity is a journey within itself.

However, there are risk factors known to affect your likelihood of developing breast cancer, some of these things you, unfortunately, can’t change, for example, age, our ages change every year and we change every day, our bodies never stop working it’s a 24/7 system no days off, all women between the ages of 50-70 should be screened every three years with the NHS screening program. Women over 70 are still eligible and should arrange an appointment through their GP.

If you’ve had close relatives (Mother, sister) that have had breast cancer or ovarian cancer, and were both under the age of 50, you may be eligible to receive screening as you’ll be at a high risk.

If you’ve previously had breast cancer or invasive cancer cells, you have a higher risk of developing it again either in your opposite breast or the same one.

The female hormone oestrogen can sometimes stimulate breast cancer cells to grow.

Research has shown that women who use the contraceptive pill have a slightly increased risk of developing breast cancer, however, the risk will decrease once you stop taking the pill and will go back to normal ten years after you stop.

Being overweight or obese can also increase the risk of having breast cancer when you start menopause the amount of oestrogen in your body can increase.

Drinking alcohol can increase with the amount of alcohol you drink per day, research shows that for every 200 women who drink 2 glasses of alcoholic beverage per day, there are three more women with breast cancer compared with women who don’t drink at all.

And lastly, radiation some surgical appliances can cause an increase in breast cancer, Ladies may I urge you to stop putting your phone in your bra, I agree it’s extremely comfortable, but the amount of heat your phone gives off is disgusting, and also don’t put your phones under your pillows while you sleep, it’s so incredibly dangerous.

Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live in

Main Treatments for breast cancer:

  • Surgery
  • Radiotherapy
  • Chemotherapy
  • Hormone Therapy
  • Biological Therapy

You could have a combination of treatments depending on what stage you are at within cancer.

Personally, I’ve had breast cancer scares, where I’d feel my breasts and would find a lump, thankfully I never had it, my beast lump was called benign which is a non-cancerous lump, mine was pretty big which was why it scared me and it was also painful, I got put on antibiotics and it went down, I got told that if the lump didn’t decrease I would have to have the lump drained which meant small surgery which I was not here for at all, I don’t like needles, I don’t like going under general anaesthesia, but of course if it was about to save my life I would just have too.

FACTS:

  • Over 99% of new cases of breast cancer are in women
  • More than over 80% of breast cancer occurs in women over 50
  • Around 5% of breast cancer is inherited by a faulty gene called BRCA1 or BRCA2
  • One person is diagnosed every 10 minutes
  • 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed in their lifetime
  • within breast cancer awareness month, around 5000 people will be diagnosed
  • Breast cancer survival is improving 
  • Almost 9 in 10 women survive breast cancer for five years or more 
  • Every year around 11,500 die from breast cancer
  • Around 2,200 women aged 39 or below are diagnosed with breast cancer
  • Breast cancer in men is very rare with around 370 new cases each year
  • A predicted 691,000 are alive in the UK after a diagnosis, this is predicted to reach 840,000 in 2020

There’s so much more to learn about breast cancer and I advise you to keep learning about this topic, I have a lot to say on cancer and I will write about that another day, don’t care about breast cancer for one month care about it all year round, awareness months are great and all but people tend to care for a few days then forget, I love people who spread awareness all year round, donate and continue to be educated.

Breast cancer or any type of cancer diagnosis is a lot to take in, I pray for anyone who is reading this blog that no one ever receives Cancer but we also need to remember that this is reality and cancer can really take anyone, but I believe in my heart that anyone who can find strength can fight it off.

To my fighters keep on fighting, use every ounce of strength you have, you will make it, fight cancer, don’t let cancer beat you.

To my survivors, praise to you and the most high up!

⇒ Nothing is impossible, the word itself says I’m possible⇐

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Teeks X

 

COLOURISM, RACISM & DISCRIMINATION

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You would’ve thought in 2018 the whole ‘Light skinned vs dark skinned’ argument would’ve calmed down not died out just calmed down a tad, but nope it continues with full force every day, Twitter is where I see everything and I’ve seen the same topic upon my TL for a solid two months, being engulfed by black twitter with the same debate/argument every day gets extremely tiring, I was doing Twitter fingers for about a month to get my point across but getting your point across on such a large scale social site is near enough impossible, my thought process is if I can’t get my opinion out why not listen to others so that’s exactly what I did I held two separate polls called ‘Colourism question thread‘ & ‘Colourism question thread part 2‘ The first one I did it didn’t do too well on votes but I realised I was very uninclusive to other races which weren’t fair I really only did questions for the black community when colourism really involves more races than the black community, kindly enough a girl named @yazzwilson kindly messaged me and we were talking on whatsapp for days about colourism and honestly she opened my mind to things I never knew about and she helped me come up with part two of the thread. Part two did so much better than part one but really I involved everyone this time and the number of votes the questions received was crazy! From part one through to part two I received over 400 replies I really tried to reply to everyone but I swear my fingers were literally about to drop off and it’s not like I reply to someone and the conversation is done I had to constantly go to and fro, listen you twitter famous people I don’t know how you do it.

Hearing different opinions and for the person to then further explain themselves is what I need, I don’t really like to take sides too often if my mindset was how it was two years ago I would’ve been having arguments for a month, but I’ve learnt to accept that everyone is different and their thought processes are also different, this world was never meant to be perfect. There were a few views I saw and I was thinking in the back of my mind ‘how the fuck can you be so backwards’ but hey their mind is certainly not mine and vice Versa.

There were a few people I really had to raise my uneven eyebrows at, I had a fair few people in my mentions stating ‘facts’ that were clearly their own opinions, I’m sorry but your opinions are not facts and if that’s what you think then I’m sorry for your mindset because that is just the worst thing ever, I really asked some people for evidence on where is this a fact and they came back with nothing.

I have many subtopics that I want to talk on and shed light on, some are good exposure and some not too good but hey this is a touchy topic and life is not a bed of roses.

But first let me talk about myself and my own personal experiences, how I got shaped for my own life.

My Personal Experiences 

While I was growing up I lived in two separate locations one of them being London and the other one in a town not too far from London probably about 45 mins away, your probably thinking how does that even work? Well both of my parents were born and bred in London, my mum moved out of London before I was born but we also had a family house that was still there, the biggest reason was London is too bloody expensive everytime you breathe money gets deducted out of your account, but we always went back forth between two locations and my dad never moved out of London so I grew up around West London & North West London I know them equally well as each other. I wasn’t born there I was born in the town unfortunately but this has shaped who I am today. 

Town life as a black girl, there is a small minority of black people here, the area I live in is profoundly white, on my street, there is just one other black family, and in my area probably about 5-10 black families, my area I mean my side of the town because believe it or not towns do have different sections. 

It’s only when I go on nights out in town which is hardly ever, is that I see more black people, but it’s only from the past few years I’ve seen more blacks since they built a university campus here.

All my friends from around here are white, in my school, I had a few black friends but switching to city life all my friends are black. Weird right?

But I have been teased a lot by black people because I have friends who are white or any other skin tone, and it’s really weird like I never grew up with that mindset, no one can ever hinder my thought process of who I choose to spend my time with, like their my friends, some of these people I’ve grown up with, but it bothered me that my own race people who shout about diversity all day every day and they spun around and laughed at me.

I have white family, mixed raced cousins, like I shall never understand the mindset that people possess of having different skin tone friends. I’ve generally posted on my snapchat of my older mixed cousins and clearly stating their my cousins and people will still come back and ask ‘who are they, are they your family‘ like I don’t know if some people are generally dumb, but its big 2018 diversity is coming into families it’s been in families for a very long time.

Interracial Relationships

“They are here to stay”

Let’s get one thing straight, interracial doesn’t mean just black and white, it can be anything, it seems to centre on just two races, please there are more races than just those two. 

It doesn’t just centre on sex, there are some people that literally get with dark-skinned men or women to get ‘mixed raced’ children, which I find sick and it has to be a mental illness for you wanting to breed someone for the outcome of mixed children. 

Are Asian girls more submissive? Are black girls freakier? Who has the bigger penis latina men or black men? All these perpetuate stereotypes and turn all of these ideas into experiments. We aren’t bloody science experiments, we are human love who you want for who they are, not for anything else.

There’s a fine line between admiration and fetishization, being seen as a fetish other than a person is disgusting like interracial doesn’t mean a better life. Admire other races as they have a lot to offer.

For the love of God just because someone dates outside of their race it doesn’t mean they hate the people, like allow people to have a preference, have your preference and keep it moving don’t have a preference then knock the people in your own race down.

I saw a horrendous tweet on just this on the 22nd February 2018, honestly, I was horrified, dishearted and angry.

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The beauty to come from interracial relationships and all relationships is that you learn you become open-minded to learn about the other person, their beliefs, mindset, goals, background and a whole different perspective for you. 

I never really deeped the fact that people have been racist let alone a colourist towards me until I did both of those threads, when the threads were done and I was scrolling back through the replies I kept on saying to myself ‘that’s happened to me before’ or ‘ I never knew that was happening on my own doorstep’ As I was growing up in school from year 7 straight through to year 11 I never even knew what I was experiencing maybe because I got into so much trouble in them years everything must’ve gone up and over my head.

I watched one movie called Holes while I was in year 9/10/11 I have no idea, I don’t even know when I finished school. 

Besides that I loved this film so much I even begged my mum to buy me the book, I got it if you’ve never seen the movie I suggest you watch it. 

There was one scene that really captured me which was about interracial relationships, in the book Holes Sam a black man falls in love with Kate a white woman, in that time it was still unheard of, long story short Sam got killed.

 

There were times in school where I would get picked on as a student by teachers and me being a bad child in school had nothing to do with it, there was one time I was in my school main playground minding my business chatting with my friends and I literally turned around to go to the canteen to grab food I was on my way there and a teacher told me to come to her so me being me I rolled my eyes and went over, she started hassling me over my skirt being to ‘short’ I can’t lie it was short but that’s how I felt comfortable and this skirt wasn’t one of those that it would look good being long, in school you follow the fashion ok, so anyways next thing you know I was being ushered off to her office and when I got there all I was hearing was “don’t you feel uncomfortable like that” but my argument back was there was plenty of other girls that had their skirts way shorter than mine to the point if they bent over you would see their vaginas I’m not kidding, I basically got sent home to change, but the point is there were white/mixed girls walking past us while I was out getting lectured about my skirt, honestly I was so mad I went home got changed stayed home for like 2 hours and came back half way into the last lesson.

There was another thing I hated about school was when people touched my hair, I HATE when my hair gets touched and white people especially would say “ew whys your hair so greasy/creamy” um maybe just maybe so it stays moisturised as a black girl having our type of hair is a pain finding a hairstyle, no one in my school had wigs it was either natural, weave or braids. After my hair kept on getting touched by disgusting bacterial invested hands I had to get braids to reduce all the consistent touching. I’m pretty sure my school went through a phase about haircuts and hairstyles like no wacky colours or haircuts, I really had to have regular shmegular black hair while white/light skinned were allowed any hair colour or haircut possible, it was literally ridiculous.

I’ll have to say personally I don’t think I went to one of those schools where there that much more whites than blacks it certainly wasn’t even, all the races that attended pretty much balanced out the equation, if it was teachers compared on skin tone there was certainly way more whites than blacks actually there was like 5 black teachers, but in opinion it didn’t bother me at all who educated me, it was just the way they’d deal with certain situations.

There were many times where I should’ve been kicked out but having the right people on your side helped me a whole lot more, I was one of those kids where if anyone did anything wrong I’d automatically reply “is it because I’m black?” That one sentence will have people flustered because there is no comeback.

But I’m grown now and still growing, and I still have a lot more to learn.

Recently (I lied) about two years ago I went to Spain on my first holiday alone no parents just three of my friends, when I tell you I’m laid back I’m so laid back, one of my friends who shan’t be named kept on noticing stuff that would fly over my head, one time we were walking to the beach and I kid you not there was a swatchsticka on the floor fully spray painted, and then on the way back it was gone, can’t lie I didn’t even see it I was too busy enjoying myself, we also took a few days to go to the town and my friend was like these people are racist I fully didn’t know what she was talking about but when we got back she was like “People were staring at us” I didn’t know how to take it I was really not bothered at all like I fully don’t know what’s wrong me like I’m the most unbothered person ever.

I would just like to say that’s the end of my personal stories but I’ll probably be doing up Esther (BkchatLDN) and relating back to any and everything while I’m talking on subtopics.

Black skin vs Light skin, the number of tweets I saw on this one topic please I can’t some of you lot are bitter.

But one thing I can’t seem to get my head around is “You’re attractive as a black girl” what does this mean I’ve heard it too many times where someone has said it to me and honestly I was spinning. I’ve been reciting the same line in my head for months and I just can’t figure it out I’ve heard that for no other race, personally I think when people say that, they must think us black girls are bottom of the barrel within the human race because if we go back to slavery days our ancestors got treated like shit on the bottom of these slave masters shoes, I will never seem to understand actually I don’t think there is a possible explanation of why there is so much hate on the black/darker skin tones, it’s really a skin tone people act like we chose, like colour selection is a thing. Every day I’m disheartened but more importantly, I end up getting desensitised because where is the end for all of this?

Stefflon Don

We all know what got the Twitter timeline going a few weeks ago and that was the tweet that got retweeted by somebody on the TL which brought a tweet back from 2013 and into 2018.

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At first, I was thinking “this bitch”, but I thought about it and compared it to one of the questions in my thread, some of you who voted probably are dark skinned so what Stefflon Don said isn’t entirely false.

“I just want to be lighter” I’m convinced at least a few dark skinned girls must’ve voted this option because what other skin tones would want to go lighter???

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This doesn’t mean I agree with what Stefflon Don did at all because it was a serious low blow she and her PR team should’ve been smarter and removed this tweet years ago but tweets can also resurface.

She didn’t handle this situation correctly at all telling people to suck their mums, what sort of role model?

But Stefflon Don, what were you doing at 21?

Hair

Our pride and joy

My hair is honestly my pride and joy I’m either natural or has braids, personally, I don’t like weave or wig at all I’ve tried them both once and honestly never again.

But for you other girls that wear weave or wig you continue to slay but also please let your natural hair rest.

I’m sure I can speak for a majority of black girls that we do not like getting our hair touched at all, the blood, sweat and tears that go into looking after it, finding certified hair vendors, hairdressers, products, tying it up every night.

Hairdressers for me, I don’t let anyone do my hair I only go to two women and they really do God’s work.

Hair products honestly rip holes through my bank account like it’s so expensive, I can’t shop in regular shmegular boot’s or Superdrug for hair products, I have to go to Black/Asian owned businesses, they’re the only shops that will sell the products I need.

Experimenting with black hair it can really go two ways very well or extremely bad, a few years back I tried to relax my hair God forbid the outcome the hairdresser made my hair drop out, it actually took a good 3 years for parts of my hair to grow back, the growth is what kills me it takes such a long time, that’s why I hate my hair being touched.

We’re always fighting our hair edges, sometimes I want a slick ponytail or even a cute bun, but the hairs along my hairline do not allow that to happen at all, it’s a constant battle.

Wash Day, this is actually war three hours to comb out my hair, wash, condition & shampoo about 1/2 times, add in leave in conditioner let the conditioner soak into my hair for a good hour, separate my hair into four sections to then comb it out again! ( I hardly blow dry my hair) once its all combed through I proceed to straighten it either with a straightening brush as these aren’t particularly hot and heat damage is a killer or actual straighteners (once in a blue moon).

My point is I’ve received aggro in particular from white girls saying how their hair is difficult to deal with, honestly, it’s nothing compared to what us black or even mixed girls have to deal with.

The modelling industry (I wrote about this briefly in my last blog) but the model world we’d open magazines, watch adverts on televisions/billboards, see highlights from fashion weeks and still see a high number of lighter skinned people fulfilling these jobs when we also have darker skinned models that wanted the same dream to break out within the industry as well.

As a black girl, I know what colours work well with my skin tone and last year orange and yellow was popping on my skin tone, on lighter tones no offence but it defiantly didn’t do there skin any justice. The fashion world want to keep up with trends but are unexclusive on who they involve, first we were dealing with how you have to look a certain way, weight issues but we’ve always been dealing with skin tone and it’s just blatant racism, black people hardly ever feature on front covers of major magazine covers. Black model Jourdan Dunn told The Guardian back in 2013 that ” people in the industry say if you have a black face on the cover of a magazine it won’t sell.”

Recently I literally just learnt how bad the colourism problems were in Asia and the people that were quote tweeting saying how Asia was the worst place to come across anything to do with the colour I was like”Yeah whatever” but little did I know you lot was actually right. From what I’ve heard I now understand I know black people that have gone to China and they’d constantly get stared at and prodded by Chinese people, what’s that about? But you know what doesn’t surprise me as China are quite limited as they’re a communist country.

But first, let me talk about Vogue India and why they cast Kendall Jenner instead of an actual Indian model, it actually made no sense it was nonsense, it spun me even more that Vogue India did that, not Vogue New York, can’t lie but that sounds like self-hate, how can you not cast someone from your own country and as a 10 year anniversary to your magazine that’s what you wanted to do, completely flabbergasted. Kendall Jenner, I respected her but she really accepted this job, she ACCEPTED THE JOB, her manager let her accept the job as in Kris Jenner you let her accept it, Kendall is 100% American nothing else, how can you go so wrong with something so simple. Vogue really thought they were not going to receive heavy backlash, Kendall thought, bitch you thought

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Update: 04/03/18

Someone, please tell me why I’m seeing this family again with Vogue India, it’s like the backlash last time was not enough, Kim Kardashian is American with Armenian heritage, did anyone see me mention anything to do with Indian heritage? No neither did I, I can’t figure out why they keep taking jobs because they damn well know they’ll get done for cultural appropriation, and better yet Vogue India switched off their comments on all of Kim’s photo’s because they know as well what they’re doing, these people make me so enraged. 

Kim Kardashian looks stunning in all these photo’s but girl this is not your culture at all, you’re American Armenian, there’s no Vogue in Armenia go create it there and model for them, you celebrities cry when you get backlash as if you didn’t create it yourself.

Vogue India you lot are dumb and disgustingly stupid, your whole magazine doesn’t even represent India, it represents everywhere but India, you hire stylists that will happily play dress up with American models and dress them up, you have a whole country of models to pick from yet you play pick n mix with the rest of the world. Get a grip.

The women and men still striding down the runways are all still profoundly white, diversity isn’t a trend it’s certainly here to stay forever. Many models have been rejected because of skin colour or apparently “we have too many black girls”. Every race has different features, why on earth would you not want new unique features instead everyone is still looking at the same blonde haired blue eyes or brunettes.

Change it up

Models

Duckie Thot is Sudanese-Australian and was a runner-up on Australia’s next top model and is now making her way to be an international model. Duckie Thot revealed that she struggled to get her coins down under and decided to relocate to New York City, she was also worried about being in a country that didn’t promote black models.

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Shaun Ross is of African-American descent and was born in the Bronx, as Ross was growing up he received a lot of discrimination as he was albino, he was bullied for years and called names such as ‘powder’ ‘white-out’ and ‘Casper’. Ross was discovered on YouTube and switched over to the fashion Industry when he was just 16 years old. Before modelling Ross was a dancer and appeared in music videos like ‘Pretty Hurts’ ‘Party’ by Beyoncé and a few more.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder

Joel Mignott is a 19-year-old model &  an aspiring DJ originally from Leeds. Signed to AMCK, Joel has travelled the world with his job & modelled for names such as Viviene Westwood, Adidas and Diesel. Joel has experienced setbacks within his career as people always wonders what race he is, Joel finds the issues of where to fall in.

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Destiny Owusu is Virginia born and of Ghanian descent, Owusu first started her modelling career at 22 years old. Owusu has experienced many setbacks being a black model, she stated “We have to work 10 times harder, because with agencies as long as they have that one token black girl, that’s all they want.” Owusu also said that if she could change one thing in the industry it would be diversity. Owusu’s African beauty & melanin movement has inspired many others to feel comfortable in the skin they’re in, she created the hashtag #isyourmelaninonfleek she has paved the way to becoming influential with no representation. 

Destiny

 

Khoudia Diop is Senegalese, Diop was teased as a child because of her dark skin but after moving to Paris at age 15, she was approached consistently with the suggestion she’d be a supermodel. In 2016 Diop moved to New York as was featured in the ‘Coloured girls project’ this led to Diop becoming Instagram famous and appeared in advertising for French cosmetics brand ‘Makeup forever’.

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Ashely Chew is 25 and the brain behind the movement #blackmodelsmatter, Chew is a model, activist and fashion & arts passionate, who fights every day for her rights. Chew was asked if she had ever been rejected from a casting her simple reply was “I’m lighter toned with green eyes” Chew has also struggled with modelling as her hair isn’t what is expected, they’ll ask her to straighten her hair or say they already have a girl that looks like her, Chew also stated “It’s almost like being too light for the black castings and being too dark for regular casting.”

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Winnie Harlow is a Canadian fashion model, spokesperson & activist. Winnie gained prominence as a contestant on ‘America’s next top model’ while having the skin condition vitiligo, while she was growing up Winnie was victimised and continuously got called names such as ‘cow’ or ‘zebra’ etc, she is of Jamaican ancestry. Winnie was diagnosed with Chronic skin condition characterized by depigmentation of portions of the skin. All the abuse she received Winnie considered Suicide.

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Personally, if people accepted that people of different skin tones and ethnic backgrounds were different and learned we all possess different qualities and look different a lot of problems from this century wouldn’t arise, a colour should no way determine what you can and can’t have, there’s space for everyone on this scene people just need to learn how to use all these features to their advantage. 

Update: 01/03/2018

I only saw these photo’s on this day, but 2018 black people being on the cover of major magazine’s we are certainly getting somewhere as a race.

Update: 07/03/18

I told Y’all.

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Bleaching  

Skin lightening/bleaching is a procedure to make dark areas of your skin lighter or to achieve a naturally lighter skin tone. Melanin is the pigment that gives skin it’s colour and protects it from the sun.

Bleaching never have and never will understand why you would want to go lighter like it’s so normalised now there are whole procedures to go lighter, the results aren’t even certain and the side effects you can get, do you people not fear God.

If you consider going lighter then please read and educate yourselves on what you’re doing to your skin.

Possible side effects
  • Skin Irritation/Inflammation
  • Burning sensation
  • Itchy & Flaky skin
What else could go wrong?
  • Skin turning to light/dark
  • Thinning of the skin
  • Visible blood vessels on the skin
  • Scarring
  • Kidney/liver damage
  • Abnormalities in a newborn baby

Honestly, the side effects sound normal to me, all those unknown ingredients you would happily put on your skin it’s slightly worrying.

But when I read the ‘what else could go wrong’ I’m shocked! People will generally go lighter with the risk of their health.

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“Health before wealth”

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Update: 07/03/18

Look what I found, these celebrities think you lot are weird, period.

50 shades of melanin

Yet only a few makeup companies can actually get it right with the foundations and concealers, there’s really 50 shades of melanin yet most makeup brands give a pick n mix of about 10! 

Personally, I don’t wear a lot of makeup at all, it’s effort to put on and take off! But that doesn’t mean I don’t see whats going on within, as an outsider looking in the makeup industry has messed up big time. 

I fully don’t know whats wrong with the people in this industry, some of them have their head screwed on others are just bloody PR stunters.

Now I’m going to educate you about the unexclusive and inclusive makeup brands.

Inclusive

  • Fenty Beauty 
  • Bobbi Brown
  • MAC
  • Maybelline
  • Nars

Robyn Rhianna Fenty, she really has done that! After seeing a void in the makeup market Rhianna really experimented with the best of the best in beauty. 40 shades of foundation and still plans to bring out more, not only is it inclusive it’s affordable.

Those two factors definitely lured me in, normally I would never leave my house for a launch but as soon as Fenty Beauty landed in the UK I know I had to try it, so I gave it three weeks before I went to Harvey Nichols, I really thought bitch I thought that there would be no queues, me and my friend were sadly mistaken. We turn up I kid you not the queue was three hours long so yeah I joined I certainly was not turning around like an idiot and going home! Fast forward now I get close to the front and finally let in, so of course, I bought the Foundation and KILLAWATT highlighter and they were my best purchases of 2017.

Bobbi Brown is No.1 leading makeup brands in the world for the past two decades Brown has worked on creating products to suit all skin tones. It’s the newest foundation called ‘Skin long wear weightless foundation’ contains 30 diverse colour options. The brand is available in over 60 countries and at 17 exclusive stores including Harrods, Macy’s, Selfridges etc and 75 freestanding stores. In SoHo London, Bobbi Brown recently opened a store it looks like a normal store upstairs but downstairs they hold masterclasses.

MAC is a leading professional makeup brand, co-founded by Frank Toskan. Toskan realised the lack of suitable colours and textures needed to maximize performance, Mac celebrates diversity and states on their ‘who are we’ page on their website that ‘We are for ALL ages, ALL races, ALL genders’.

Maybelline the company was created by a 19-year-old entrepreneur named Thomas Lyle Williams in 1915. Williams noticed his older sister ‘Mabel‘ applying vaseline and coal to her eyebrows to give them a darker fuller look. Williams adapted it with a chemistry set and produced a product sold locally called ‘Lash brow-Ine’ Fast forward now in addition to its expanding range Maybelline added on the ‘Fit me’ range which includes 40 shades.

Nars is a French Cosmetics and skincare company founded by makeup artist and photographer Francois Nars in 1994. In 2017 Nars announced that despite being against animal testing, it was a requirement for them to sell in China. Nars continues to grow it’s shade collection the brand’s new ‘natural radiant longwear foundation’ is available in 33 shades with a various amount of medium to deep tones to choose from.

Unexclusive

  • Kylie Jenner Cosmetics 
  • KKW Beauty
  • Lancome 
  • Physicians Formula
  • Benefit

Let me be straight I love the Kardashians/Jenners but they’ve pulled some horrendous stunts lately.

Kylie Jenner Cosmetics, none of her products bring the wow factor, her whole range has no originality for example ‘Kylighter’ all she did was add in her first two letters of her name to try and give it authenticity. Kylie recently bought out a makeup brush set costing $360 and had the audacity AUDACITY to compare her brand to high-end luxury brands such as Kevyn Aucoin, MAC etc, she received a substantial amount of backlash towards her twitter post announcing this, I wasn’t surprised they looked like paint brushes and lord they fray, no one wants to put makeup on with a brush that frays. 

Scam Brushes

 

KKW Beauty, ah with Kim Kardashians makeup line I really I just can’t, just look and tell me is that not clay?

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The other three please just look at the shade range and ask yourself “In big 2018 where is the diversity?”

Advertisement 

PR stunts: A planned event to attract the public attention to the event organisers or event

PR stunts are what gets everyone talking, H&M, Dove if you really believe they didn’t know what they were doing then I’m not sorry but you’re deluded.

These companies know what they’re doing, they love our arguments, the more we talk and type about their brand, the more money they’re receiving.

The H&M ad was genius apart from the smashing up of the stores in America, the creative team knew what they were doing, whoever passed that and allowed it to be drawn up and distributed those people are honestly laughing at us, even though they had to pull it from the stores in the end, the more we spoke, the more we typed and included them in our tweets or on any social media they were receiving money, and frankly that is all they care about. People were still going to shop their regardless of colour, they did an 80% off sale in some countries. The mother of the child she was going to get paid regardless so of course she allowed it and told everyone to ‘shut up’ in the process, imagine if she declined that opportunity…

The Dove advert when they showed a black woman turn into a white woman after using Dove body lotion, Dove responded with “We missed the mark” they didn’t miss the mark they knew exactly what they were doing.

When I first saw both of these adverts I thought it was a bluff but it was real, honestly, if I had a company that was known worldwide I’d be dropping stunts every other week, because when you lot speak and type they just earned money! Social media is where the money is, the sooner some of you realise that the more woke you’ll be.

The Nike Advert, that is one advert I can’t fault Nike really did that, included the London music scene and sports all in one advert! The only people that faulted this ad was really the Asians, like really who did you guys want Nike to include in the ad??? And the worst thing is you guys were screaming at black people like we were the ones that created, directed and published the advert it isn’t our fault, you lot had so much energy, redirect that to Nike headquarters.

London really used everything that makes ‘London Culture’

  • Barbershops
  • Corner shops
  • Santander Bikes
  • Chicken shops
  • DJ 
  • Black Cabs 
  • The Underground
  • Bipolar Weather

They used our slang they interpreted everything that is us and what makes a Londoner.

Music Industry & Music video ideologies

Matthew Knowles said “The music industry must stop ignoring singers with darker skin”

The music industry is doing so well in the UK with light/white men/girls and even dark-skinned men, but what about the dark skinned girls? Is the issue darker than colourism, could it be sexism within the race? To me, it just doesn’t make any logical sense how can the men of the same skin tone be doing so well but the ladies are literally fighting and scrambling to the top.

The Music videos are a different ball game, why are there so many light/white skinned females in music videos now and hardly any dark-skinned females, the UK music scene will not be diverse until it rectifies this problem.

Blitter

Ah Blitter the time where the Twitter purge began and everyone transferred to Blitter known as (Black Twitter)

Honestly, Blitter went downhill so swiftly and quickly, the app had no originality used the exact same features from Twitter, the interface didn’t change at all except there’s was 100 times shitter than Twitter. The owner of the social media application was absolutely crazy at the start I thought yeah he’s alright because really Twitter headquarters don’t interact with us all they want to do is suspend accounts all day but Pat the guy that created the app interacted with his supporters, sounds like a swell app right?

Oh, and by the way the app is racist and I have clear evidence to show this.

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Deep the photographic evidence this guy has to be ill.

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Racist/Discriminative Brands 

Amazon 

Wycon

Shea Moisture

Versace

Tommy Hilfiger

Marc Jacobs

American Eagle

Kendall & Kylie 

BooHoo

Straight up facts, these have all been broadcasted on the news and social media.

Amazon recently had to pull a product of off their shelves which a third party user was selling which was products like baby bibs, mugs and T-shirts were all up for grabs, it had a saying printed on it that said: “Slavery gets shit done”. The offensive merchandise got removed and Amazon released a statement saying “It wasn’t me” but really in truth it was them because don’t you have any guidelines on your site or a process that you should go through to get a product posted.

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Wycon an Italian beauty brand got into hot water internationally when they released a nail polish named ‘Thick as a nigga’ what colour was that meant to represent? Oh yeah of course black. After being called out Wycon never actually apologised they just changed all their nail polishes to numbers.

They further released a statement, honestly, you’re going to laugh about what they said queue the laughter ” We’re sorry this post triggered these types of reactions, every colour from our gel collections is ‘Inspired’ with a ‘Cheerful‘ attitude and a ‘Pinch‘ of naivety.”

Complete and utter bullshit.

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Shea Moisture in the spring of 2017 black beauty brand makes the greatest stumble of all time (that’s my opinion) in their haircare commercial. A black woman with long stringy hair was compared to two white women who also lamented their hair struggle. 

Some black women including me felt like shea moisture was turning their backs on their real audience to an audience that literally doesn’t know about struggle upon their head tops.

Shea Moisture admitted they ‘Fucked up‘ and also announced that Unilever is acquiring it, wonder what this means for future advertisements.

The one ad that I saw that actually made no common sense.

Versace

‘Versace Versace, Medusa head on me like I’m Illuminati’

In 2016 a former Versace employee vowed to sue the luxury retailer, accusing the company of discrimination for its use of a secret code they use when a black person enters the store which alerts staff and security. The former employee who was hired in the San Francisco store 2016 said the code ‘D410’ alerts when someone of black skin tone enters and is then followed around the store. The code is also the brand’s label for a black t-shirt. According to TMZ, the man was fired after telling his employer he was African American.

Tommy Hilfiger 

“My passion for music has always inspired my designs”

Tommy Hilfiger was accused of being racist when a ‘Chain Letter’ went round of his saying if he knew minorities were going to wear his clothes he would’ve never made them and wishes they would stop wearing them. How lovely.

In 2014, however, Hilfiger did say that while hip-hop’s adoption of his clothing ‘Fueled growth‘ for his label, he’s disappointed at the urban demographic ‘Took us away from our roots‘ So is the word urban black? 

Marc Jacobs 

” I always find beauty in things that are odd & imperfect- they are much more interesting”

During 2016’s NYFW Marc Jacobs felt a wrath of Twitter backlash as he sent predominately white models down the runway in dreadlocks, which many felt was a blatant appropriation of black culture. 

Jacobs response: ” all who cry ‘cultural appropriation’ or whatever nonsense about any race or skin colour wearing their hair in a particular style or manner – funny how you don’t criticize women of colour for straightening their hair” Ouch.

But wait is straightening only for white people? Because I’m pretty sure when I was growing up I used a flat iron comb, but hey you know what if that’s what Jacobs wanted to bring to the table than so be it.

A few days later he issued an apology on his Instagram page.

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American Eagle

“Don’t quack like a duck, soar like an eagle”

In December 2017 people were outraged at American Eagle who was selling bracelets that looked like slave shackle cuffs.

The public started sharing photo’s of the bracelets on December 11th, by December 12th they issued out an apology.

American Eagle pulled the product from the shelves but a few days later the public still found them in stores up and down the USA.

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Kendall + Kylie

“It’s always the people that know the least about you, that want to judge you the most”

2017 Kendall & Kylie Jenner were in hot water with the public again for plastering their faces over popular music icons.

After controversy and heavy backlash, Kendall & Kylie pulled the t-shirts from their site, the shirts were put on their website June 28th, 2017 and removed the very next day, the sisters put their faces over the likes of Biggie, 2pac and The Doors. 

They were even issued with a lawsuit as their faces ruined the trademark of The Doors.

They issued an apology.

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Boohoo/Nasty Gal

Before being sold to BooHoo (If BooHoo minded their business they wouldn’t have been in this predicament) Nasty Gal went under fire for appropriating black culture with a $50 faux leather do-rag.

The discontinued product sparked outrage in 2014 after users on Twitter questioned if Nasty Gal knew the true function of a do-rag, which is to protect and maintain natural hairstyles.

Vegan??

 

Blackface

“Blackface is a form of theatrical makeup used predominantly by non-black performers to represent a black person” 

Blackface was either a layer of burnt cork, a layer of cocoa butter or black grease paint, in the early years they painted on red lips to resemble a clown, costumes were either swallowtail coats, striped hats and top hats. 

Minstrel shows entertainment imitated black music, dance and imitated ‘plantation talk’. The shows featured some of the most ‘ugliest‘ African Americans from 1840- 1890, minstrel shows were the most popular form of entertainment in America.

The Golliwog is a black fictional character that resembles the exact same features as blackface.

It is the 21st Century 2018 and blackface and golliwogs still exist to this day, Blackface started in the 18th century over 200 years ago and us black people are getting resembled a doll and we still get taken for idiots by fellow white people. We are not clowns, we are not your entertainment at all.

Careers/Work Paths

“Ever felt like you haven’t been accepted because of your skin colour? Yeah same”

Some workplaces just aren’t diverse enough, to be honest, I’ve never let this stop me from getting to where I want to be, but I’ve had a good few arguments along the way because I’m always adding my signature somewhere to guidelines like ‘We accept everyone no matter what background or race your from‘ And most of the time it ends up complete and utter bullshit. I’ve been discriminated at work so many times, I’ve had managers all up in my space talking down to me like I’m a child and stupid, I’m far from that, did I ever report any of these incidents? No I did not my mindset back then and kind of still now is that the white man won’t listen and in my case it’s true, I’d report something and it will get shoved in the bin, a white person will report the exact same thing and of course it becomes a priority! Am I an idiot? 50/50 really. I wanted to quit some of these jobs so bad but no one will ever get in the way of my money and qualifications absolutely impossible.

There was one job I absolutely adored, but I started to hate it once we got new management, there was one event I had to work at over 1000 + people attended this event, my manager treated me like a slave like I actually felt like a slave, it was a 15 hour shift from the last minute planning to sort out big preparations, I value my job description and honestly the things he made me do, certainly werent in my job description, and oh yes I’m one of those people if it isn’t in my job description then piss off I ain’t doing it, I did as I was told for about 12 hours the last three hours my anger was boiling and honestly my anger is not something to play with because once I flip it’s game over. I’m 100% sure he was doing it on purpose long story short I flipped and got so angry I cried and traded some very nasty words towards my manager, I told my mum and she went ballistic because I never cry I also quit my job.

It was the fact I was the only black person doing the dirty work everyone was chilling, watching the boxing event, I was going back and forth like a flipping circus animal.

Update: 08/03/18

Honestly, I’m extremely upset & extremely infuriated about what I witnessed on Twitter 07/03/18 “Fuck the blacks” I felt extremely sorry for the girl that had to put up with this as she was the only black person on that floor, it is a hate crime! I know racism still goes on till this day, but it’s not even on a sly it was full on and I’m highly disgusted by Nottingham Trent Uni, they responded far too late for my liking, if this was dealt with earlier it probably wouldn’t of reached the likes of social media but I’m glad it did!

Now have a look at some more evidence and opinions:

 

Nottingham Trent University, look what you have done, you’ve ruined the reputation of your own university for not responding in the correct time frame.

How can this be reported on Monday and you want to come and issue a response 3 days later, the young woman had to bring the situation to social media’s attention just so it could receive an uproar so you lot could respond! You would’ve dusted this under the carpet like other issues, which I have further evidence on.

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All these universities claim they have ‘support’ but you don’t, a situation similar to this happened at De Montfort University in Leicester (DMU). DMU I definitely didn’t forget about you lot.

You universities love ruining your reputation, either accommodate every single race or close them down. 

Oh and the Daily Mail, I see how you were very quick to swoop down and collect the news and write your article.

Listen to me, you lot are not slick in the slightest.

Daily Mail keep the same energy! You hate us one week and the next week you want to write a supporting article. 

Sorry but I don’t like you at all.

If this was my situation, I can’t lie I wouldn’t hold back at all the same attitude you people think black people have ‘The angry black woman’ I’d unleash it 100% paint me with that brush, wouldn’t care less don’t be racist and not expect a backlash!

If a group of black boys were to walk past, those white men would’ve ducked their heads, a young black girl on her own in her accommodation had to experience this.

I could never imagine getting through all the stages of getting to university and then a situation like this occurs.

I understand steps have now been taken as arrests have been made & suspensions have been enforced, but that is not enough! Their courses need to be terminated, named and shamed, faces need to be shown, in the real world things like this cannot run at all.

A few of my opinions:

If you follow me you should know, that I was literally going for anyone with a silly opinion.

@RufaroChisango_  I stand by you, and so do a majority of Twitter.

Interesting Questions

Why is it acceptable for black women to openly prefer dark skin men over light skin men, but black men can’t openly prefer light skin women over dark skin women?
Do you pick friends based on skin tone?

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Does dark-skinned privilege exist?

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Jorja Smith

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All races answer…Do you like your skin tone? If no why not?
&
If you could would you change your skin tone?

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Do you think people use colourism as a scapegoat for the fact their ugly?
&
Why is it always the ugly girls feel a type of way, when it comes to colourism why do people relate to men’s preferences and not a social construct?

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Now to all the tweets where I just couldn’t figure out where to add them in but all equally important as each other.

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To everyone that enjoyed my thread and took time out to say, I certainly didn’t miss you out and I’m ever so grateful.

My Personal Hypothetical

Personally, to me, it all boils down to racism, colourism and discrimination.

If those three things didn’t exist this world wouldn’t be so twisted, looking at slavery it’s so immorally incorrect and I will never understand how you can punish someone on the colour of skin, if I had the option to change the skin tone I 100% wouldn’t if I have to take all the abuse that comes with it, then so be it. I’m black and I’m so proud some of the history associated with the colour black is disheartening, but our ancestors fought for our freedom! 

Civil rights activist Rosa Parks 1913-2005, refused to surrender her seat to a white passenger on a segregated Montgomery bus which spurred on the 381-day boycott. This helped launch nationwide efforts to end segregation of public facilities. The city of Montgomery had no other choice but to lift the law requiring segregation on public buses. Rosa Parks did that.

Social Activist and Baptist minister, Martin Luther King Jr led the civil right’s movement from the mid-1950’s until his death by assassination in 1968. 

 King received the Nobel peace prize in 1964 along with several other honours, assassinated in 1968 he still lives on to be one of the most influential African American leaders in history.

“I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character.”  — Martin Luther King, Jr. / “I Have A Dream” speech, August 28, 1963

South African Activist and former president Nelson Mandela 1918-2013 helped bring an end to apartheid and has been a global advocate for human rights. A member of the African National Congress party beginning in the 1940s, he was a leader of both peaceful protests and armed resistance against the white minority’s oppressive regime in a racially divided South Africa. This manoeuvre landed Mandela in jail for nearly three decades, but he was the face of the apartheid movement. Mandela was released from jail in 1990 and participated in the eradication of apartheid and became the first black president of South Africa.

Antiapartheid: The anti-apartheid movement, originally known as the boycott movement, was a British Organisation that was at the centre of the international movement opposing South Africa’s system of supporting South Africa’s non-whites.

Honestly, we have so many more people but these were honestly the greatest people in my opinion! They lived and died by the movement and they will always live on!

I wrote something a few months ago and hopefully, it can sum up my conclusion because I am absolutely lost for words.

All colour, ethnicity & race is beautiful. 

Black is beautiful.

Mixed Raced is beautiful.

Brown is beautiful.

White is beautiful.

We all slay every day, don’t we?

Don’t get it twisted we’re all ugly in someone’s eyes, but we’re all beautiful in someone else’s right? 

We as humans weren’t made for everyone, we don’t get accepted by everyone but that’s okay because that’s life isn’t it? Or wait am I wrong is that just my conception of my life lessons, or is it the god damn truth that everyone should bloody well listen too?

Oh, I don’t know what is life, what is beautiful, what the hell is ugly, who created these words, was it YOU, did you give us your unwanted opinions? 

My own words 

This one is very short as I just didn’t know what I was writing, but in this day and age I see a lot of slander  on race, colour, ethnicity the whole bloody lot, this hatred for other people will never stop, no race is better than one, no ethnicity is more powerful than the other and no colour is more superior, God created every single one of us differently so no one has the right to say anyone is ugly or disgusting. But I honestly do believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that not everyone will find us all beautiful but that’s okay, God created us all with different features so we can all individually stand out and be unique. 

I’m pretty sure no one would like to be the exact same as someone else, everyone’s personality is completely different, we all get angry differently, for example, I get angry in the speed of sound while others can just keep their cool and act as if everything is a walk in the park. But don’t be scared of being different, act out, go crazy, experiment with things, do you! 

Regarding my cover photo, I wanted to outline all the different features everyone possesses whether your black, white, pink, orange or purple, everyone is different in their own way, shape and form.
Hope everyone has seen my vision and liked it. 

Teeks X

 

 

 

 

You hurt me.

5ef3a7081edfd4b13eea53b1df62318e--drawing-art-drawing-ideasYou hurt me. 

One thing I always get asked/told  ‘why don’t you have a man’ or ‘you don’t seem like the type who would be in a relationship’

He hurt me, physically, mentally, emotionally, he said he loved me, and of course I believed him, he said he wanted me to be apart of his future, I believed him, he was so nice and caring at the beginning and then things started to take a dramatic turn downhill.

I started drinking enjoying my days of being a teenager, he didn’t like it, in fact, he hated it and started to resent me, told me I was an alcoholic, started torturing my mind, spitting vile poison in me, and then the next day a whole ME would apologise for being myself enjoying, he didn’t like me having fun, he just wanted me around him all the time, didn’t want me talking to anyone else, I was simply being me, but my alcohol days got worse and worse, a couple of drinks before bed, partying more, all he saw was red, but I don’t know why.

He hurt me physically, mentally and emotionally.

But I became stronger, I found the courage within myself to leave, I know what he was doing wasn’t right, but what made me stay? I loved him, head over heels, but it wasn’t healthy I needed to get out.

I got out and kept on drinking, it made me feel better, but also worse I was getting ill but I blocked it out.

Another one used and abused me, he wouldn’t get off, I kept on saying “no please get of off me” my words were slurring, my vision was oh so blurry, but it happened, he left the room and I wanted to get away but I couldn’t my body was weak so I stayed, he came back and did it again. I wanted to scream but who would’ve heard me?

He took me for a mug, he said he loved me but loved someone else, it hurt so so much, but I was sort of getting used to the same treatment, being used and abused, my heart used to be so full of love now it’s half empty, full of regret why did I let these vicious people enter my life, but then again true colours never show at the start, always near to the end.

We were talking for a year, everyday phone-calls, everyday FaceTimes, meeting up, opening up to each other telling small details that meant a lot, telling each other things that no one else knew, putting each other as top priorities, but well guess what that one spiralled completely out of control, we had feelings for each other, we were doing so well, but he kept on breaking promises, promises is one thing I don’t FUCK WITH, I hate promises completely, but I gave him an ounce of my trust and where did the trust end up going, out of the fucking window. He claimed me when it suited him best.

I always give my all when I’m with someone, and as time goes by it just starts to be a waste of time, I fall hard and can never seem to shake it off, it’s annoying, irritating why do these traits follow me around like a lost dog? Why me? What have I done that was so wrong? I try my best and always get a fat F planted on my heart, do I love too hard? Do I give in easily to what they want? I’ve never been able to work it out.

Maybe I do chat to a few people here and there but really I don’t think anything amazing to come out of it, I don’t ever paint people with the same brush but I’m highly cautious now on who I involve myself with, but no matter how much I try to protect myself something always comes along and ruins it.

None of them realised the later effects it had on me, I’m reserved, it may not seem like it but I am.

I’m not saying I’m perfect, because I’m certainly not and don’t ever plan to be, I probably did trigger some of these, but who knows I’ll never know, and quite honestly I don’t want to know, it’s in the past and I’m now living in the present.

Does this answer your questions? My truth, some of my life out in the open, the disgusting people that have come and done this, I don’t like opening up to people because I tell someone and laugh about it, not because it’s funny but more of a nervous laugh to hold back the tears, I don’t like tears escaping because once one trickles down my cheek there’s no stopping, I come across fearless my comebacks to everything is strong, a cry every now and again is good but I simply just don’t like crying, I don’t like sympathy at all. I love loving people, and sometimes it’s too much for my own good.

I tell people I love them and they think I’m crazy, screaming “you don’t know me like that b” “we’ve just met” blah blah blah, sometimes it’s just your vibe I like, if we can’t vibe then sorry, the connection has failed.

All I hear is ‘you chat to so many men’ I don’t understand what point some of you are trying to make, I’m obliged to talk to whoever I want.

But recently I’ve stepped back a lot, I don’t talk to anyone because that means I have to open up it takes me a lot a LOT to just tell someone things about me, I’ll flip the script and will want to hear about your life, I’ll ignore you when you ask about mine, it’s just normal now.

Words from me!

Yes this is about me, but I decided to share this because I’m done suffering in silence and keep getting asked constant questions, I know there are a million of other people where things like this have happened to them, it’s sad to think other people go through this, but it’s also to scream and shout awareness that you’re not suffering alone whether you’re a woman/man. There are about 5 stories mixed into this but there are separate people involved, some of them are very minor but some are serious. I’ve spoken about some of these situations with ‘friends’ they didn’t even care one ounce, but that’s okay because I sent them on their way.

If you’re getting abused, physically, mentally, emotionally then speak out!

I will always use my platform to spread awareness or for my controversial topics.

It doesn’t matter what age, gender, the colour you are, if something is not right within your relationship, situationship or friendship speak out, we have freedom of speech use it!

I simply haven’t had a man for a long time because I’m scared of who’s entering my life, I’m scared what they’ll do, are their intentions as true as they’ll say, do they want me or my body? Do they want to love or lust? Do they want my heart? Have I done something? My mind is never ending thoughts, but that’s okay I’ll rather have thoughts then being thoughtless.

This is what happens at 2am in the morning when I’m overthinking or thinking about the past I feel to write, it’s so much easier to get my thoughts out by typing them down, this has been stacked in my notes for a while now and I’ve just always scrolled past not knowing whether I should release or hold back, but here I am about to click ‘publish’.

“Controllers, abusers & manipulative people don’t question themselves. They don’t ask if the problem is them. They always say the problem is someone else.” – Darlene Quimet

Thank you to everyone that continues to read and gives feedback, highly appreciated!

Teeks X