2019 WRAP UP, 2020 STARTUP!

147 days later and I’m back to blogging, wheww chile what a long time, I would apologise for being inactive but I’m not going to because having writer’s block is REAL, I have blogs in my drafts that have been started but not finished hopefully I can get those out to you lot sometime next year, not hopefully I WILL get those completed and put them out next year.

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Bet you’ve been wondering where I’ve been…If you answered no, free you because I know you’re going to continue reading and want to know what’s been happening in my life and if you said yes you’re either nosey or you genuinely want to know where the fuck I’ve been, I’ve wondered too, but somedays I look back at the whole year and it’s certainly been busy, I’m generally a very busy girl, this year has also been hard for me work-wise I had a manager that didn’t believe in my career prospects it made me alter how I saw myself for months, it made me question myself every day, whether I was fit for the position, whether I could actually be a leader, so many things were shuffling around in my mind, however, if you’re sane enough in life you’d know not to mess around with my career because I’ll only come back stronger, I remember I had a meeting with my manager and she thought I was dumb I remembered something she didn’t my ammunition must’ve taken her aback because she was certainly lost for words, anyways long story short she either resigned or got fired I believe she got fired because I definetely reported her ass to management and when I was telling management what was going on LOOOOL she didn’t stand a chance.

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We got a new manager and I thank God for her also my deputy manager and all my colleagues so now I’m training for senior care worker which I’ve always wanted, I’m also doing a Level 3 certificate in web design and development, I’m excited for what 2020 can bring hopefully more career opportunities, twenty-one years on this earth and I’ve learnt so much and I  never want to stop.

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Anyways yardiyardiyaaaa enough about the boring part of my life, I’ve recently just come back from Amsterdam, 10/10 experience apart from DBE cancelling rest up LB though.

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If this part of the blog doesn’t make you want to go Amsterdam, then please go get high and come back to this section, because it’s not me that’s holding you back.

Amsterdam 2019 let’s get into it:

I booked Amsterdam 31st May 2019 with my friend ‘Adz’ well she booked it I just sent my money each month, we booked on ‘Love holidays’ however our holiday was discounted as they always have sales on, the cost should’ve been £903 altogether but we paid £292 each which included flight (Easyjet) + hotel (Ozo Hotel 4*) we paid extra for a private shuttle which was £33 each and two suitcases which were £33 each and this was all for 5 days so final price was £584, we booked all our activities via ‘Get your guide’ app if you haven’t heard of it get to know, we booked about seven activities via the app which was £117 each, if you book without the app I promise you look in your pocket and you’ll discover a burn mark. 

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Spending money, I changed up £358 which gave me €400 I nearly vomited in Tesco’s, this was money for food, weed and transport, my friend took away €150 but also had her debit card with her, we paid for 3 extra activities out there but it wasn’t crazy expensive.

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Small disclaimer

I met Adz (Adonae) the day before we flew out, as she stayed round mine it makes more sense I lived closer to Luton, We became friends through Twitter and have been good friends for roughly 2+ years, crazyyyy right!

The first time meeting wasn’t anything crazy you can learn about someone through text, and also learn a lot more when you meet them too, literally the best person to go with, she’s a lot like me which scared me a lil bit, we liked the same things from food to activities, we gave people the same looks in public when we saw something funny or weird and looked back at each other for reference, I can’t fault her she literally booked the holiday and activities and I praise her because I would’ve preferred for her to do it and me to just fling the money over, I can hear the whinging bastards already “WhEre’S YoUr ReAl fRiEnDs” “wErEn’T YoU ScArEd Of bEiNg RoBbEd”  My gut instinct has been swindled a few times but I’m not stupid I’m picky on who I meet in a real-life if I said I’ll meet you, in reality, hold on to your hats 2020 is coming, however, twitter teaches me every day about madness occurring, I wouldn’t hand over 100s of £££s without being certain, and look I’m in my house now back from dam, no damage is done just memories made.

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Lastly each day I figured out mine and Adz’s morning routine, I found it hilarious, so we’d wake up at some awkward hour like 6am go on our phones for a few minutes then go back to sleep, then we’d wake up again at 11am and go to each other “We’ll get up in half an hour” both agree to continue to watch TV or be on our phones, ask me did that half an hour ever come? During that time we’ll also be snacking, then around midday, we’d get ready for our day, every morning same routine, it’d be funny cause it was the same and we’d just laugh about it.

23rd November:

Adonae arrived around 15:20pm, she met my family who was already at home, but I already had something planned so my brother dropped us both to my work, it was the weekend I planned for my dad to come into my work to do a reggae/soca evening for my residents, they loved it including my colleagues and me, long story short we got home around 7, both ate, watched a few episodes of something on Amazon prime then proceeded to pack at 10pm, Long story short we were overweight but hear this only by 3.1kg we still had pay £12 each extra loooool, Easyjet can honestly fuck off, nothing easy about ‘easy’ jet, why is there an Easyjet plus who’s paying £150+ for extra’s are you tapped in the head? DO YOU KNOW WHAT PISSES ME OFF WITH SMALL AIRLINES? NO? Well, you’re going to find out, wait for it…Priority boarding, why do Easyjet have priority boarding it makes zero sense, not even just EasyJet small airlines WHY? We’re all going to the same destination are we not? Or is the plane going to stop off in the middle of England and Amsterdam and tell people ‘Please mind the drop between the plane and the clouds’ and it’s always the posh cunts in suits as well, tossers. 

Moving on, we finished packing and once we closed our suitcase there was no way on God’s green earth that it was being opened till we got to the hotel, it was full to the brim, even our hand luggage was full, we went to bed at 2am and was up for 4am, my friend picked us up and off to the airport we went, someone tell me where is Luton Airport, why is the airport still in construction mode? Luton Airport is so ghetto, I’m surprised they even had booking scanners in there, and London claims Luton since it’s London Luton airport if Luton was a place in London it’d be Harlesden, free dem.

24th November:

We boarded our plane on time, left on time but our plane only had to slow down because too many planes were landing at Schipol airport, I’m pretty sure it was an hour thirty-minute flight or something, can I just say England are so behind in technology compared to everywhere else in the world, like so behind it’s a joke! I won’t reveal too much go discover for yourselves.

We got to our hotel around 11ish and got told we couldn’t check in till 2, but we got around it and checked in at 1, our hotel and room were so nice like it actually resembled the photos on the website, it was a 10-minute walk to the metro where are hotel was it resembled part Canary Wharf, part Milton Keynes it was weird but made sense.

We chilled, napped got ready for our first activity the ‘A’ dam lookout’ we went purely for the ‘over the edge swing’ I was excited before I nearly sat down on the swing, quickly glanced up and over the edge and pussied out real quick, as in I grabbed my bag and was on my way, my friend, of course, did it, I wished her luck and everything, it didn’t exactly help my nerves that there was a measly bar to keep me secured over my legs, ARE YOU DUMB? A bar uno am I a dick’ ed? If my chest thrust forward while up there 2 million per cent + my savings I would’ve fallen out, I don’t even have life insurance I couldn’t even afford my funeral if I died, I’m black I didn’t see any other black people up there so I took myself out the equation, y u bEiNg rACiST tEeKs, it’s actually called stereotyping, idiots.

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Soooo I left my friend to go on her own, I was giving support with my feet firmly on the ground, we took pictures after then went to the bar we both don’t drink so we just got normal fruit juice and enjoyed the incredible view. 

Let me tell you guys something about this trip, the A’dam lookout is across the river and I was thinking how am I going to get there cause my name ain’t dynamo I can’t step on water and expect to stay on TOP of water, anyways so we asked around and my girl in the tourist shop said FREE boat to the other side, the way she said FREE so calmly in this England is anything free? Not even the oxygen I breathe is free I’m sure it’s taxed. 

Long story short, we went to a coffee shop but we didn’t stay I just picked up all my essentials, which included two tubs of cookies, two pre-rolled zoots and just some baggies of weed, I smoked a spliff before bed then went back up made a cup of tea and dunked my cookies in which I’m 100% sure the weed disappeared as soon as I dunked as I didn’t feel an ounce bit different, I was even nodding going “Mhmmm yeah this is nice” all this mhmm yeah for me to feel fuck all did I spend €15 on two tubs for a fucking laugh? It was the tea I just know it but honestly, in this life, you’ll never see me digest a biscuit without a hot drink to go with it.

Don’t offer me a biscuit with no hot beverage, you can even offer hot water.

25th November:

So Monday we went to the zoo, the zoo was 10/10, it was actually amazing, I’m going to drop all the videos/pictures down below, wOrDpReSs rUinED ThE QuAliTy.

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These lions were very close to us I’m sure they were tranquilised cause if they wanted to attack us they could’ve, no fence to protect us, just me and oxygen.

I can’t lie I hate entertainment shows that involve animals, but this fat ting didn’t want to jump just wanted food all the time, found it hilarious I know this sea lion must’ve learnt flex & finesse from early!

 

Monday Evening we did a canal cruise, as in it was so beautiful, the history behind Amsterdam is amazeballs, I just thought ‘weed’ capital this is my kinda city, yeah but no, I love history even though I hated history in school but that is beside the point in school I had a curriculum to follow which I found utterly boring, but I’m grown now I can learn what I want, Amsterdam the city of diamonds, anyways yeah I nearly fell asleep on that cruise, when night time reappears unlike Madeli….anyways when night time appears I’m either buzzing wide awake or I just want to sleep, I wanted to SLEEP so bad.

26th November:

TUESDAY NOW, WE ON TUESDAY, BEST DAY OF MY TRIP, you idiots thought I was going to say of my life yeah? Well no, but the activities for this day listen 10/10!

 ‘Glow in the dark mini golf”

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I lost

The walk getting there was a trek, it was about a 15-minute walk in the cold and it was spitting, we got to one traffic light to cross and my friend saw a flash from across the road, a bunch of tourists put deh bludclart flash on and was taking photos of us saying “yoU’rE So PrEtTy” I was thinking I’m not an artefact man, now random people are going to have me on their camera roll, bare weird.

Anyways the mini-golf was so sick, I think there were 12 holes, one of them was bare unnecessary which was the last hole and the ball just wouldn’t go in, I’ve never had that problem before man:(

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Second Activity was the Anne Frank (Jewish museum) as I said I love history, I didn’t love the holocaust of course not but the story behind how everything erupted and became what it was is just incredible.

After those two activities, we went back to our hotel, we chilled, snacked and napped all to prepare for our big night out, we went to the red light district always wanted to go here and we were finally doing it, my fit was drip, oooo fake drip spotter couldn’t catch me cause I wasn’t wearing any designer, catch my fit down below:

Baddest_Teeks on Instagram

Ha, you thought I was going to put the image up, did you attend clownery college?

 

 

You:

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We left our hotel around 8 and took a stroll through Canary Wharf and onto the metro, central to the red-light district is not far at all, we had a look in some sex shops and the sex toys bumberclaartttt, oh don’t worry I took photo’s you ain’t meant to take photo’s but fuck the rules, we then had a walk up and down back streets and went to the 5D sex cinema, I’ll upload a short video but we were basically sat in a stimulator basically a rollercoaster chair, and it would move erratically with whatever goes on, on the screen, the man ejaculated and foam came out, I was in stitches, we then went to a peep show it was confusing at first but we paid €4 for 4 minutes of watching time, the first stripper we saw she was so boring, zero energy then a door opened and a new lady walked out she had ENERGY for days, these strippers/prostitutes in the red light district are peng are you dumb?? Lastly, we went to a sex show liveO sex on stage my kinda scene, strippers doing their thing my kinda scene, men in the audience getting picked out to go on stage and join in the act, one man got picked out three times looool on his third time he looked pissed, hilarious. 

We were laughing for a time cause foam squirted out🤣

Oh, and before I forget we went to the museum of prostitution (Red light secrets) nah I loved it the history behind the red light district is dope, as you can read, I’m trying not to give too much away because I want you to go and experience for yourselves.

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I posted a confession  at the museum and they get stuck on a confessions wall

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However wearing what I was wearing I didn’t feel entirely safe because some of the men were disgusting, would catcall you like a dog and when you don’t reply continue to call you all the names under the sun, I ignored and continued because I didn’t want unnecessary hassle plus if I fought someone I didn’t want to fall in the canal that shit was cold and dirty not me boy!

However, that was a night to remember, my eyes were my camera and I can’t fully explain my vision so go visit, loool you’d think the Netherlands government are paying me to promote Amsterdam like this😂.

27th November:

Wednesday was pretty chilling we chilled into the late evening and started getting ready around 16:30pm for the…ICE BAR, ice bar was cool but never again, as in never again someone would have to pay me to go back in there, so I’m pretty sure we paid for premium tickets cause we ain’t no simple bitches which included 1 golden token for the bar in the ice bar, and 2 silver tokens for the bar outside the ice bar, read and read well the first part of the ice bar tour I don’t know what was going on, this man did some speech but was bare shouting, there were different groups that went in at different times and I think you could stay in there for 45 minutes, you got handed a measly jacket as thin as one-ply toilet paper and gloves, as soon as I got in there I saw the temperature, some next polar bear climate of -9.7º, my tokens were in my pocket but there was no way in hell I was taking off a glove and getting a token waiting at the bar, drinking a drink within five seconds, do I look mad to you? The man said if you leave your drink for five seconds it’ll turn to ice? Is my name crackhead sally? I couldn’t even hold my phone to unlock it ALL I HAD TO DO WAS LOOK AT IT, I didn’t even have the energy to lift it towards my face, we basically went in said ‘ah yeah this is nice’ asked the photographer to take photos then we left, we went to the bar instead I ordered an ‘Amsterdamnned’ and my friend got ‘Sex on the beach’ we swapped, in the end, both tasted good, we chilled for a bit then decided to go ice-skating, we decided but ice skating cashier broke our hearts, it closed at 9pm we got there at 8:30pm €30 to skate for thirty minutes? You’re shitting on me.

We Left.

Not disappointed though…

We saw a dominoes beforehand and got it on the way home, so slow story quick we spent €60, and that’s £50, FAM THAT CAN FEED A FAMILY OF 5 HERE!

28th November:

Thursday was meant to be my most memorable day of the entire year but was it though? Thursday flopped me harder than my GCSEs don’t piss me off, the first motive was Van Gogh museum we got there at 5pm because on the ‘Get the guide’ app it said it closes at 7pm, the security guard said it closes at 5 and the dutch accent is strong nuh rass, even if he was trying to talk to me nice it came across rude, but we even said the app said 7pm man was trying to argue I went deaf cause it wasn’t me he was going to go back and forth with, so we left we went back to central and straight into a coffee shop whilst I was in the coffee shop I found out D BLOCK EUROPE CANCELLED, as in if someone didn’t tell me I would’ve still went, I’m so glad I got let down in a coffee shop with a spliff in my hand, so the coffee shop story with adz this girl makes me die, so I bought 1G of white widow, blue cheese and OG kush, two pre-rolled cones of sativa mixed with baccy and bought Adz a vanilla cake edible, we sat down and I sparked mine, adz has never smoked before she asked me how to smoke??? Bitch, I don’t know, honestly, I smoke every day so explaining how to someone who has never was difficult, I managed too though but it was evident it wasn’t for her, she had her edible though she was happy, adz was eating I was smoking I remember there was one point where I was vibing to the music I turned my head back around and swear to God the edible was nearly gone, I said “Eyyy you probably want to slow down a bit” as a non-smoker non-edible eater would say “Ahhhh but it’s so nice though” She never knew the decision she made was going to fuck up her whole night, so she finished it and was like “So when is it kicking in” I was like “Ha give it an hour” by that time I finished my zoot I was good, I had a guy tapping me every two seconds for my lighter, bruv who comes coffee shop without a lighter? Tapping me every 2 seconds like I’m an off licence, anyways we left it kicked in as soon as we left for her, I was dragging this girl through Amsterdam central to get our metro it was hilarious my girl just looked dazed, so we get back to the hotel and by this time she was telling me her body has gone numb, she was sat on the bed with her pizza just eating, I was packing, she went to sleep in and out I stayed awake most of the time mostly because I didn’t know how her body was going to react some people have mad reactions, some people are calm but I ain’t trying to explain to someone’s mum wagwarn for their daughter so I was in and out of sleep mostly slapping the shit out of candy crush, I finally snoozed into a light sleep at around 3am.

29th November:

Friday today was home time, Adz woke up around 8am still waved, she kept asking me “when is it wearing off” that was a question I couldn’t answer if you ate the whole thing if it was half I would’ve given you a legitimate answer, but my girl learnt her lesson, so in the morning I left her to pack I packed the night before obviously as I can function it’s literally my everyday setting, I went downstairs to smoke, this is a story I’ll never forget…So I was wearing leggings, a long top and a big fuck off fluffy jacket it was cold outside, so I began smoking as I do, get halfway through and started feeling incredibly hot as in hot like the plane’s doors open and could feel Caribbean heat, I was thinking I can’t finish this spliff but me being me I finish it, by that time I was feeling dizzy, so I managed to get back in the hotel and into the lift, I looked at myself in the lift mirror I was garnnnn, I got back to my hotel room with the grace of God, as soon as I got in I started removing my clothes, I think I know how hot hell is now! I downed a whole can of Fanta, bitch I had a hot flush for a whole goddamn twenty minutes, I was thinking ‘rah is this how my 21 years on this earth is ending? You’ll do a real g like that, ight sn’ Thinking back it was funny but in the moment nah no thanks not again, but the maddest thing was I had that same spliff on the Monday same strain, it was just weird, I felt like Brian Finch (Limitless) when he was getting those side effects from the drug NZT but it ended up being a hoax.

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So the Friday we went to the Van Gogh museum it was so so good, apparently going high is a vibe I wouldn’t know mine wore off, I wasn’t expecting it to be so modern but hey ho move with the times I guess…the building is huge the backdrop is amazing for photos, yeah the art was nice too.

We spent around an hour there then went back to our hotel in time for our transfer back to the airport, our flight was delayed of course Easyjet would be however we arrived back in England around 7pm, I got my weed through without a hitch cause like I said Luton Airport is the absolute ghetto.

We booked our trip via

11 activities in 5 days, wheww chile my kinda scenes.

So this year I went on two holidays one to Zante (read the blog on that, if you haven’t) and obviously Amsterdam, however, Amsterdam was 10/10, maybe minus a few points, because I nearly got run over 50 times a day, my company was literally my opposite, we did activities we both wanted to do, like the only thing I could fault was the weather every day spitting, not even real rain one placebo & DBE cancelling but whatever man. 

Hope you lot have enjoyed reading about Amsterdam as much as I’ve enjoyed typing about it, and hopefully, some of you go and enjoy as much as I did, but my next trip there I’ll be in strictly coffee shops.

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This year I finally started a podcast called ‘Live & Relevant’ with @brands0311 & @_Jmensah it’s taken at least 10 months to come off the ground due to a few problems we had at the very beginning, but we’ve done it, the first episode is coming out very soon and will be available on Soundcloud & iTunes then, later on, we’ll roll out towards Spotify. We all met on the very first day of filming together but we all spoke on a regular so it was hardly awkward and besides I’m not an awkward person at all, during the whole session I was mildly waved as in I smoked 4 and I was still fine? As in?? 

However, as a team, we’d all appreciate if you could follow our podcast page on Twitter and us individually, any topics that you would like us to speak on please shoot your shot in our DMS we’re all open books and would like our voices heard, whether you agree or disagree with our opinions that is your own. 

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Lastly, the biggest shoutout to @NK1STUDIO one of the main struggles we had was looking for a studio to record in, the prices I was seeing boy oh boy mi nuh tink suh, but I was scrolling through Twitter one day 3 months ago and they came up, affordable, reachable for all of us, boom shack a lacka slapped it in the group chat, everyone agreed on a date, payment succeeded, it was like planning a Thorpe park link-up but with us, everything went to plan.

Oh, also a 5-minute walk from Star Lane (DLR) & they literally have a pizza restaurant next door, like recording sessions + pizza+ 5-minute walk to the station= Heaven

AND the two people running it all are amazing, wish them all the success for 2020!

www.nkonestudios.co.uk

Moving on…

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Since I started blogging I’ve been kind of nervous grabbing opportunities regarding blogging, most obvious reason my turn around time is slow not because of laziness but the thought process of how I’m going to piece everything together is very draining but it’s lowkey fun as well, but as 2020 is coming to a start in 5 days, I’ve grabbed two opportunities I’ll be writing a review for @Ts.cupcakes (T’s Cupcakes) it’ll be coming in January so keep an eye out.

I’ve also joined @RealTalkBlog18 as a guest writer so next year I’m looking to put out a lot more content on this platform as well as my own, I wanna do reviews also, I know my strengths and this year was not it, I know I can reach a bigger audience which I’m going to do, reach out to me if you want a blog written about any sort of business minus gossip I am not the sun newspaper nor am I UK TL TEA

I’m finally bringing this blog to an end, this year has been something a lot of learning curves that I need to incorporate into next year, I need to drop bad habits, maybe those will get dropped in 2021 who knows, I now know my strengths and I know I can go far if I continue to push myself, fuck other people no cap but no one can push where you want to go as hard as yourself, born alone and die alone if your friends jumped off a cliff would you? Might seem common to say no but there’s a lot of sheep around, some people can’t think for themselves let alone do anything without a backup dancer to help their already failed process, I started all my journeys on my own, no second opinions, I’ve had a lot of people in my past that think they know what’s best for me, but in true reality, I just turn off, I don’t want to hear what you have to say, anything I’ve got I’ve worked for it no shortcuts just a straight grind, 2020 is really another year, yeah a new decade faxx no printer bitch, but next year a bitch is going to be trying and succeeding, work in silence let success be your NOISE, I’m coming for everything, Health & Social Care NVQ level 2? I’m getting that next year, NVQ Level 3? Yes! Level 3 web & development? Hell yeah, 30k+ views on the podcast? Easy 30k+ views on my blog by 31st December 2020? Hard but not impossible, I have so many goals which for my own sanity I will not post all over socials, but when I hit them you will all know!

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I’ve had a lot of favourite times this year but my ultimate times have been under the needle, not the surgery one please the tattoo one, I love my tattoo’s and the ones I’ve got this year, being in the tattoo studio I’ve been able to catch up on sleep, slap-up people on candy crush and enjoy the 0 tolerance of pain

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I’m so thankful for people who have walked into my life this year and made it even more fun than I was already having, having friends from all over is lit because I can move up and down this country without a care in the world, so grateful for the people that have left my life and that’s people that called themselves friends but true colours really showed when I was least expecting it but it’s cool, true colours were shown when people thought I was schleep I was alive and kicking during all of it, but like if you want to leave just pick up and go, don’t do this bitching shit because I promise you I don’t give a fuck, I’ll smoke a zoot and get over it in seconds, might find this moist me typing this, but some people think they’re so significant in your life when that ain’t even the truth

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Thank you to everyone who still continues to read my blogs and gives feedback as and where possible, I’ve ghosted long enough and I can only come back harder no one can blog like Teek’s, and small shout out to my mum even though she’ll never read this which is good cause that Amsterdam trip red light district needs to stay under wraps, but sometimes my mum helps me with blog topics where I struggle she always says to give her credit so there is her crumb of credit. 

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If you have any topics that you’d want me to talk on and give my own take then hit me the fuck up, my DMS are open!

Chase Lizzy until she chases you.

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2020 is everyone’s year, you want something you get it, believe in yourself, promote yourself and most importantly network & I promise you, you’ll see the results! 

Last thing, a big FUCK YOU if you voted conservatives, and a big THANK YOU to those that voted labour, you’ll be granted a place in heaven and that’s on a G ting!

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See y’all soon!

Teeks X

ZANTE 2019

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In August 2019, me and 3 of my friends decided we needed a party holiday, so we all decided on Zante I can’t remember how we got to that decision but we did.

Y’all I was so excited about this holiday, I’m used to flying out yearly 1/2 times a year until I turned 18 my mum stopped paying y’all that hurt so much, but we move not every holiday must be family orientated sometimes with your friends, one day I might even fly out alone, because all this waiting on who’s coming, payments and stress, I’m actually not here for it at all, either say you’re coming and get your card details ready or move from me.

Personally, I dabble in and out of saying I’m coming to not coming because people annoy me, I’ll even be on my last full payment, one month away from the holiday and say I ain’t leaving, until it gets down to the last few days my excitement is extra, either be extra with me or leave me alone, I don’t like people who act excited than when it comes down to it they’re moving loose. 

We booked in October/November last year, and the last payments were April, I finished paying first because I just wanted it out of the way, then everyone else thereafter, I started doing my Summer shop in November I finished in March, I LIED MY FRIENDS INFLUENCED ME TO BUY MORE so…I finished 1 week before we flew out, I had a lot packed but I certainly had everything I needed, I changed up £453 roughly and got around 500 euros, so I took 515 euros with me, my friends took roughly the same.

So 16th June we all had taxi plans arranged cause we organised, ya feel me? Long story short we checked in, went through security, got to duty-free? Sweet 

Duty-free? Goodness me I have a love/hate relationship with it, one you can’t leave your baggage unattended I have to bring it EVERYWHERE, even toilet, bet y’all are asking what about your friends? Please, the heartbreak when I left my luggage with my friends while I went toilet I said “Save my seat, don’t let anyone sit there” I came back five minutes later, was my seat even available? One simple instruction. Two, duty-free is like Central London on a normal day, people don’t know how to walk, people will stop all of a sudden to check their phones, people and their fucking pullies OMG! I clipped a couple people walking, learn your lesson, KNOW WHERE YOU’RE GOING OR GET OUT THE WAY, three every purchase you make, you must have flight booking number at the ready, fuck sake even with a bottle of water.  

The only thing I could think about was a Classic English breakfast at spoons, we all got breakfast. please tell me why, while I’m sat with my hot chocolate one of my girls says “I need a bottle of wine’ in my head I was thinking “Nigga what? it’s 9am” I was all baffled but anyways she went ahead and bought it started chugging away, I tried small wine, DIRTY DIRTY NEVER AGAIN! Never again? Please, I downed some just to feel nice.

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ANYWAYS ENOUGH CHAT ABOUT AIRPORT 

LET’S GET INTO IT!

So I think we arrived in Zante for around 6:30/7pm, the heat as the doors opened? Hell, it was so hot and it wasn’t even midday, getting through Zante Security was a walk in the park, baggage collected, small disclaimer (We flew with Jet2, someone told me they were a good airline, whoever told me that is going to Hell, anyways our Jet2 holiday reps gave us a brochure of what to do on the Island, proper helpful) Our hotel was fifteen minutes from the airport? Clever right and two minutes from the main strip, so we stayed at ‘Alexander the great hotel’ Nothing great about it, but when I was on the coach I saw a hotel called exactly that but we drove past it???? Five minutes later we arrive at our ‘hotel’ bro the entrance didn’t even look like the pictures, unloaded all our luggage and went to check-in, hear me out I was saying to my friends ‘nah I don’t think this is the hotel’ only because the photo’s on the preview didn’t look like that, we met two girls out there, who was having the same thoughts, long story short it was our hotel, I checked google maps and new ‘updated’ photos. We checked in and they took our passports? The staff was like ‘Don’t worry we’ll look after it” so if a fire now burns the hotel you’ll still be looking after it? Fuck outta here. We had to wear these wrist bands on 24/7 to show we’re all-inclusive, Hotel lobby? Nice, the rest of the hotel? DEAD up, the money I spent on this 4* hotel rated 2*+ (TWO STAR PLUS) was ridiculous, personally, I want my money back.

Before I forget we had to pay a tourist fee, my head nearly fell in my hands, tourist fee? I’ve paid flight, hotel, exchanged my coins to yours and you want a tourist fee?

I paid for it, we move.

Hotel Chronicles 1.0

Listen to ME! This hotel yeah ‘ALEXANDER THE GREAT’ (Far from great)

I advise from the bottom of my heart don’t go, they’ll rip you off, please tell me why we had a stove in our room but no kettle, no pots and pans not like we needed it, we were all inclusive but like?? If we wanted iron? Pay, kettle? Pay, Ironing board? Pay

PAY! PAY! PAY!

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4 of us went away, quick maths two in each room, our rooms were right next to each other, perfect!

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10 days, something always happened, shall we begin…

16th June: (The day we arrived)

We arrived, all freshened up, explored the hotel small and then went out to dinner, saw a fight on the night, front row seats loved it, the same bar we saw a fight outside of we literally went their most nights!

Disclaimer:

The strip in the day and night are the exact same, it’s so alive no matter time of day, maybe a bit annoying when you’re trying to sleep:( Be prepared for harassment though, I couldn’t tell you how many times I got stopped by promoters or even just regular lads, either to sell some sort of excursions, club tickets or even normal conversation sometimes I acted deaf because I CANNOT deal with it.

17th June:

I believe we all woke up pretty early, we got ready to a point to have breakfast together, (The hotel will be spoken about further down in the blog) We spent the day sunbathing and in and out of the pool, and lastly familiarising ourselves with our surroundings, we all got cocktails they were disgusting either watered down or just too much alcohol, it’s like they had no bartender skills:( We had dinner at the hotel, I swear to God what I ate that night I thought I was going to die, but I promise y’all at the end I’ll talk on the hotel, our neighbours and other stuff.

18th June:

Small Insight: when I left the UK, I was 21 when I returned I was still 21, unlike my friends they were 20 they returned and were 21! So we celebrated three birthday celebrations out there it was great.

Anyways back to it, two of my friends are twins so double celebrations.

I can’t remember what we did in the day at all.

We went on a night out, we went to a restaurant (Country steakhouse)  literally one second away from our hotel, then we went for shisha after (Garden of Eden) I was literally telling everyone it was their birthdays, we got money off the bill, half-price shisha, free shots on the house, we went to a bar called revs, the amount of alcohol I consumed that night, I was back in bed by 23:30pm, yes eleven-thirty you saw correctly, my friend kindly walked me back to the hotel, made me comfortable and then continued her night out, me I was comfortable but I was fucked, me I’m not a drinker anymore I stopped drinking properly at around 18/19, I used to love a good bottle of vodka sometimes no mixers just lean when I was a teenager, but now I absolutely hate it.

19th June:

POOL DAY. SIMPLE.

20th June:

High key this was my favourite day of the entire trip, NO CAPIANA! This was our first sightseeing trip where we all decided to go to Kefalonia it was an all-day trip so it lasted around nine hours, Kefalonia is an island just off of Zante an hour and a half boat trip. 

I think we left the hotel at around 8am (ish) we were on the coach for around an hour to get to the pier, we had a tour guide and there were around 30 other tourists on the trip, the ferry journey was beautiful, I think the weather that day was 36°, we went to so many destinations that I’m just going to drop videos & pictures below, I’m that person that doesn’t miss anything because my phone is always out but I’m still in the moment always. 

When we returned around 9pm, we literally went back to the hotel, showered switched clothing and went out for dinner with the two girls we made friends with whilst we were out there, pretty sure we ordered the entire menu but our eyes were bigger than our bellies because their portion sizes are HUGE! Even the children’s meal looked massive, funny because I never saw any fat kids in Zante, not ONE!  

21st June 

We had had another pool day and just chilled.

22nd June

Another birthday, now I was flying back with all 21-year-olds, We spent a day in Zakynthos town so nice until we got bothered by beggars I’ve never grabbed my phone so fast to sit on it, one of the little peoples touched my hair, so I look like a museum?? Anyways we booked a restaurant that we already went to and when we went there they decorated it really nice for her, all my friends did a fireball tequila shot, me? Never me, I’ve seen them things go wrong and plus I don’t even like tequila and why would I want to swallow fire am I a dragon? This was the one night I promised my friends I’d stay out to a decent hour, my goal was 3am, I surpassed that and got back to the hotel at 6am, I was proud of me, even more, proud that I had around 9/10 drinks and felt absolutely fine in the morning!

23rd June 

I can’t remember this day at all, we literally just chilled. 

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24th June 

We went out for breakfast because I think our insides would’ve killed us all if we went back to the hotel restaurant, everyone kept going on about Peri-peri heaven basically a fake Nando’s, people were saying they had good breakfast, we got there was they open though? We went someone else instead, someone on snap said my breakfast looked like it came from the can, it didn’t taste like the can food, MAYBE the presentation wasn’t Michelin star, that comment rattled my soul so no I won’t be posting what it looked like, that shall stay on my camera roll till death do us apart, after we spent the day at the beach, Mother Nature heckled my insides so much that I just sunbathed and watched my battery disperse, the beach was so nice you could go out at least half a mile and still be belly deep in water well from what I could see anywhere, I was sunbathing minding my business, those lookey men decided they wanted to ruin my peace very early and continuously, I told half of them to go away, but the continuous flow of them I gave up, one of them gave me a free bracelet till this day I haven’t taken it off because I CAN’T my man knew what he was doing you know, but now we’re friends forever. 

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After a long day at the beach, my friends went on a night out, me? I stayed in due to continuous health issues, we went to the corner shop to buy alcohol instead I picked up one drink cause it looked nice, tasted like liquorice and ass even with sprite as a mixer it was disgusting! 

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25th June 

Packing day, let’s be real I packed the Saturday before that, I was ready to go back home as in I couldn’t wait, we went out for our last meal then to bed cause that early morning wake up.

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26th June

Hometime, check out was at 11am? 11am what kind of checkout time is that, we had a coach transfer at 3 we all said hell nah let’s get a taxi to the airport instead, we were waiting at the airport for over 8+ hours to get our flight, long story short we got back to the UK, I was so happy but landing I saw grey skies typical England couldn’t even be mad, I was speed walking through nothing to declare because the police looked on smoke and I was not, found the taxi got back and went bed. 

I’ve finally come to the end of my zante blog and I’m glad because I needed to vent a little bit, Zante has it’s good parts and it’s bad parts, I miss the weather, I miss some of the people on the strip who I made 10 day friendships with, I miss the scenery, I miss just chilling out because I really deserved that time to just relax and be in my own headspace.

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I probably wouldn’t go to Zante ever again but it’s nice to say I’ve been, the experience was good while it lasted, if you’re a party person I’ll suggest to go here it’s like the island that never sleeps, I went to some good clubs, the vibes were lit, it’s not like England where clubs open at 8pm and shut at 5am, the strip was active from midnight all the way through to 8am the following day, some clubs wouldn’t open until 5am, there are clubs here for every type of person, you’ll be walking on the strip and probably get stopped every two seconds where promoters will approach you with a drinks deal, I heard some proper good deals one was €5 for 2 drinks and 2 shots, that was revs and we ended up in there nearly every night because we knew we could get the same deal over and over, the bar men were so lovely, I’ll give them that and their drinks weren’t watered down compared to other clubs, I’ll recommend Cherry bay as well, two of my friends met two Finnish girls and they got us into VIP in cherry bay which was great because I would’ve not to like to be on the dance floor with everyone else as it was packed and my oxygen levels probably would’ve decreased then I would’ve died, entrance was free maybe cause we were in vip and we didn’t pay for any drinks because we got little chips which were equivalent to money, I was drinking Malibu and pineapple all night, sipping other peoples drinks obviously I knew them they weren’t random lads drinks, I drank a few shots that we didn’t buy, we left cherry bay at around 3am ish who knows as soon as I came out the club it was like my vision didn’t want to cooperate with me anymore, I couldn’t see that well my vision went from 20/20 to 10/10. The strip was so alive, I saw Dappy! We went to another club called ‘zeros’ it should’ve been called ‘swimming pool’ instead, we got there and went straight to the bar, we were about to order when me and my friend got splashed yes splashed with water inside a club because there was a big fuck off puddle in the middle, people were dancing in it? Me? Hasta la vista, the toilets in the clubs were RANK🤮 I thought England was bad, it felt like I was in a crackheads house it just wasn’t nice at all, there would even be looky looky men inside the toilets with there possessions laid out ready to do up-selling techniques, I was like??? We went back out on to the strip for a while, talking to some lads, entertaining their madness, giving them confidence boosters to hit those punching bags on the strip, if you have me on snapchat and you were watching while I was out there you could tell it was just alive with a sound of music, all I could warn you on is the alcohol out there, some of it was tasting weird, people were getting spiked left, right and centre, I read up on Zante once I got back to read a few articles, and they pretty much said that the alcohol was mixed with other chemicals, but chemicals they’d give to animals and it’s not meant for human consumption

If you’re a party but also like doing excursions Zante is for you, however if you like doing excursions and relaxing then Kelaphonia is the place to be, and it’s somewhere I’d definitely look at going to again, 5-6 hours on that island wasn’t enough for me because it had so much history, so many tourist attractions that I would’ve liked to explore more, but one day Teeks you’ll go back ! 

Anyone looking to go to a party island I’d say 3, 5 or 7 days is a good choice but 10 is overdoing it, I was getting flustered quickly because there’s only so much partying I can do before I get bored, Zante is 70% boys and 30% girls that is my ratio because there was definitely more than the other, I could do adventures for days, partying is actually not part of my lifestyle anymore and Zante confirmed that Tenerife might bring it back a little though who knows! 

That was my second party holiday, all my holidays have been to the Caribbean, America, South America, France, Spain, Portugal, I want to explore more, the first three destinations are all family-related I’m extremely lucky to have family in those parts of the world because they’re extremely expensive but all I have to pay is for flights! I’ve always been a traveller, but I hate long flights I even complained about the 3hr 30 mins journey to Greece let alone the Caribbean, but if I want to see more of the world I just have to suck it up, flying doesn’t bother me in the slightest I’ll tell you what does bother me, turbulence, Satan 100% created that. 

Spending money I brought out €500 ending up taking out a further €150 towards the end of our trip because we had to keep eating out because the hotel food was SHIT! Some people brought out €1-€1.5k for a week but it really depends on what you want to do, there’s boat parties, excursions, quad bike hiring out which was €30-€40 euros a day, day parties, night parties, it really does add up, don’t forget to add in your drinks and food:( 

Zante cough is real guys, I’ve been coughing my guts up for nearly 3- 4 weeks now, don’t use their air-con you will end up like me SICK! They clearly don’t clean the air-con vents because I’m sure it was the dust particles flying around that made me this way, even some of the drinks out there bring self-destruction to your throat. 

The Hotel:

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Honestly I have 0 words for this hotel apart from WHAT THE FUCK, the lobby was nice, everywhere else in that hotel was shit, I wouldn’t even want my worst enemy to go there (I have 0 enemies btw) but if I did I’d tell them to abort this hotel, our rooms were bog-standard, not worth my money at all, at one point we had an ant infestation in our bathroom, the shower would flood the bathroom because the water wouldn’t go down the drain quick enough, the tv ONE CHANNEL IN ENGLISH WHICH WAS THE NEWS, the cleaners would walk in whenever they felt like it, sometimes they wouldn’t even replace your towels, it was good that we brought our own but that’s not the point, is that not your job title? The hotel bar displayed about 60 different drinks and snacks but only had 5 drinks & 5 snacks in stock every day, these fucking frauds, alcohol was over poured, I know how to mix a drink and make it bang down my throat, these lot wanted to kill us, 3/4 of the glass alcohol then mixer??? ALL FAXXX NO PRINTER, don’t, believe me, I dare you, yeah you to go to this hotel. 

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The food GOD FORBID, none of the food there could actually make up a meal, I love trying new food after that holiday I’m never doing it again, there was something that smelt really nice which was an artichoke one bite into it that shit should’ve choked me to death because of the flavours???? DUN OUT, anytime I ate at the hotel for lunch or dinner I literally had soup then went to the shop after, because the food was not for human consumption, the chef looked old as fuck, five days into my holiday a couple people that worked on the strip said that my hotel was known for food poisoning???? FIVE DAYS? 

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That’s enough about Zante now, I’m finally back to blogging after taking three months out all for good reason, not because I lost my other twitter account honestly couldn’t care less, the person that hacked it could’ve at least given some free entertainment to us all, I’ve been working on something that will hopefully come to life in a few months maybe less, I’m back to stay now no more time offs, I’ve got some interesting topics that I NEED to talk about and give my take on, people have been messaging me constantly asking when I’m coming back to this life, back to life back to reality, I’ll probably try to do more of these travelling style blogs as I have one more holiday booked for this year, being Amsterdam I’ve always wanted to go.

I’ve been working on something and all I’m saying is:

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Next year as follows: 

Tenerife 

Bali/Australia

Miami 

Croatia 

Grenada

All my holiday pictures are on my Instagram feel free to follow

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I occasionally post on snapchat, but you’ll have to go on my Instagram to get it

I’m tired of typing now and I’m sure you’re all tired of reading, please keep a lookout on my Twitter because this is where I announce all my upcoming blogs! 

P.S: My mum told me not to do anything stupid while I was abroad, yeah I jumped off a balcony to get my friends garment I really didn’t realise how high up I was! 10/10 wouldn’t recommend.

Teeks X